The Ups & Downs of A Pastry Chef on the Rise

My Interview w/ Cuisine Noir Mag

2011-09-11T23:10:00.000-07:00

Chef David Benton: Baking’s Hidden Gem

by Luna Raven on October 29, 2010

Here is the article that was written about me last year and the photo that appeared in Cuisine Noir magazine. www.cuisinenoirmag.com

For someone who has been cooking his whole life, it is kind of funny that David Benton didn’t spend every waking minute planning to be a chef. Of all the things he loved growing up, being a chef was actually the very last thought in his mind.
When he decided to pursue a culinary degree, Benton was surprised to discover that he was actually following in the footsteps of various family members, thereby tapping into a personal history previously unknown. At the California Culinary Academy, Benton discovered a passion that would eventually lead him to a whole new career; he really liked pastry.
After working in the industry at such well known spots as Americano in San Francisco and Masse’s Pastries in Berkeley, he decided that working in restaurants was not quite what he had imagined. Feeling as though school had not wholly prepared him for real world kitchens, he decided to take on a more mainstream job.
After his job downsized, Benton recognized he had the chance to fully pursue the passion he had been sidelining. Though he had studied the full culinary program, when the opportunity to strike out on his own arose, Benton chose to pursue the pastry side of the field. Why pastry? The artistry, the colors and the ability to make things pretty. “It's challenging. Baking to me is always a work in progress.”
Sitting down with Benton to talk sweets is akin to opening a treat box that turns out to be fuller, brighter and tastier than you had dared to imagine. Ideas flow from him as he talks joyously about his company Sugarsweet Pastries and all that lies ahead. He has got big plans for the future.
Benton loves to scout the Web for fresh ideas and is always on the lookout for the unexpected. Honing his decorating skills with videos and inspired by decorating luminary Sylvia Weinstock, Benton’s creations have a retro style with a modern flair. His specialty is desserts in the French fashion with a twist and some good old-fashioned Southern elements thrown in.
His obsession is confections that are both gorgeous and flavorful. Playing with flavor is a favorite activity and has given birth to such treats as Tomato Soup Cake with vanilla and rum. A trip to his Web site http://www.sugarsweetsf.com/ shows an eye for colorful, unusual treats with a fun and sometimes nostalgic finish; spun sugar, candy and chocolate butterflies have all graced his creations.
Even as his business grows, Benton is always looking forward. His focus is high quality in all aspects and on learning more about all facets of the business with the hopes of having his own high-end bakery one day. Benton dreams of a dazzling storefront, one that would be fun, funky and inviting.
One could just as easily picture him being a designer to the stars, his collections filled with vibrant colors and sassy styles. Lucky for us, he chose pastry instead.
Below is one of Benton’s show stopping recipes for the holidays. Enjoy!
Chef David Benton’s Holiday Buttermilk Bean Tart

Crust
1 stick of butter
1/4 cup sugar
3/4 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/8 teaspoon salt
1cup flour

Melt butter and combine the of the ingredients together. Add butter to the flour mixture. Dough should be soft and moist. Press in the bottom of a 9" tart tin and bake at 350 for 15-20 minutes.

Filling
1 8oz. can of white beans
2 tablespoon butter
1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
1/4 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 egg, separated
1/4 cup sugar
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/8 cup buttermilk
1 tablespoon flour

Drain and rinse beans. Cook beans over heat until boiling. Drain beans and place in food processor, add salt and butter. Pour beans into mixing bowl and add spices and flour. In a separate bowl beat yolks, sugar, brown sugar, buttermilk and vanilla. Add to egg mixture. Take egg whites and beat until stiff adding ¼ cup of sugar to them. Fold meringue into bean mixture. Pour into pie crust and bake for 25-30 minutes.

2011-09-11T19:56:00.000-07:00

Deep Dark Chocolate Sea Cake

This is my first blog w/ a recipe--My sea cake was a cake ordered by one of my personal chef clients. She wanted a deep dark chocolate cake w/ a dark chocolate icing. and of course she wanted a sea theme. It was a baby shower cake and I wanted it to looks at realistic and beautiful as possible. I scoured the net and took an idea here, an idea there and a few from over there and came up w/ this. I just recently purchased a air brush and ive just gone air-brush crazy. I LOVE my airbrush machine. it is sooooo freakin cool. it makes everything look so professional and gives my cakes depth. Its got water bubbles, coral reef fish and beautiful shells. Enjoy!

CHOCOLATE CAKE for 8” cake

1c. Cocoa

¾ c. Boiling Water

1¾ c. + 1/8 c. Brown Sugar

3TButter

3Eggs

¾ tsp. Baking Soda

¾ tsp. Baking Powder

1c. Cake Flour

¾c. Sour Cream

1tsp. Vanilla + ½ tsp. Almond Ext. + ½ tsp.Coffee Extract

¾c. Canola Oil

Mixhot water w/ the cocoa in a bowl. Add all dry ingredients to the mixing bowl.Add butter. Add all wet to dry. Addoil. Lastly add the chocolate mixture. Bake on 350for 45mins.

CHOCOLATE FROSTING for 8” cake

3sticks of Butter

2¼ c. Powdered Sugar

1½ tsp Vanilla

½ c. Cocoa

Pinchof Salt

2011-09-11T19:29:00.000-07:00

Anyone that knows me knows that i have an interest in Marilyn Monroe that borders on near fanaticism. Well not really fanatacism--I'm not the fanatic type, but i really really really LOVE her ALOT! And like most Monroe fans I've spoken to, our interest with her goes beyond like or even love, but delves into an affinity. a kinship. Feels like you know her. So naturally I had to put my cake decorating skills to work on something Marilyn. My other love, regarding cake decorating is stenciling. I found a Marilyn stencil online and painstankingly cut out all the dark parts out of it using an exacto knife. i knew i wanted the cake to be pink because like the inspiration for my baby shower cake,Jayne Mansfield--Marilyn's color--in my mind--is pink. the jewels, the pearls, the faded pink roses, all symbols of her glamorous glittering but somewhat sad image. I hope you guys enjoy this.

Vogue Cake

2011-06-25T07:42:00.000-07:00

I love the idea of mixing art & fashion w/ my cake making. And of course i love anything retro-modern. Retro-modern by the way, is my term for anything old that is still cool in todays world. Photographed by Erwin Blumenfeld and modeled by Jean Patchett, this January 1950 Vogue Magazine Cover is one of the most famous Vogue covers ever and is still very cool. Enjoy!

Lingerie Cake

2010-11-20T21:38:00.000-08:00

This cake is basically a reproduction of something i saw online. I thought it was really cool but i hate copying right from the page. So as i was surfing around for ideas i came across a pic of some lingerie that looked alot like the cake i planned to make, so I kept it and used it as inspiration as well. This cake was part of a larger project that I was involved in. Cuisine Noir Magazine (www.cuisinenoirmag.com) expressed interest in doing a story on me (i'll discuss that in detail in my next blog). They also wanted me to use a gluten-free cake mix by a company they were doing some work with. The cake would be made & designed by me and would be photographed for the article--so I worked on it and it came out nice. Electric pink & black. i always love using black in desserts. I didnt get to taste it but she gave it to a friend and she loved it.

Vampira Cake

2010-11-20T21:11:00.000-08:00

Around Halloween, I decided to make something festive for the Halloween season. But I couldnt really think of anything cool to do. Pumpkins--eh, everyone had a pumpkin cake or pumkins on their cake. Black cats, Eyeballs--been there, done it. I love the holidays but sometimes i dislike making holiday themed desserts because everything has been done, decoration-wise, and I get bored w/ the same-old sameold. I'm always trying to find new avenues and inspiration to get me excited. So when i really want to get inspired, i tend to go back to my love of old movies. & i remembered i saw a drawing of Vampira and had the thought in the back of my head that I would do a cake with her on it. Vampira was a character created back in the 50's by an actress named Maila Nurmi who looked alot like Morticia Adams or an early version of a Goth chick, she hosted a late night horror show in L.A. and went on to appear one of the worst films ever made, Ed Wood's Plan 9 From Outer Space--which sorta sealed her infamy. She is now copied by Elvira. Anyway the minute i saw the pic, i knew i could do a cake that looked like it. So there--i had my Halloween theme. it was different, original and had an old film theme going with it. And I loved the finish product....very proud and a little surprised at how well it turned out. Once again it was a cake that came out better than i inteded it to. Its basically all fondant. I used edible pens to draw the face. I didnt even put much effort in the face & in fact thought i had messed the whole thing up. I drew the lips first, kinda fast & they looked messy so I tried to fix them, when it didnt look fixible, i went on the the nose & eyes--thinking id get back to the lips later...but when i finished the nose, eyes & eyebrows, I stood back & looked at it, the face & the lips were perfect. wow, how did that happen? Not only did it look good, she looked pretty. So the next was that i remembered i had bought some red & black candy roses a few weeks earlier for no other reason except i saw them in the baking store & thought they were cool & figured id need them for something at some point. i love using black & red on cakes. They were absolutely perfect for the look of the cake. As i said, none of this was planned--it was all very last minute and things just sorta came together. whaddya think?

The Pink Princess Cake to End All Pink Princess Cakes

2010-09-18T21:34:00.000-07:00

Once again Facebook has been the bane of my businesses existance and the sourse of so many cake orders for me. I got a cake order way back like 6 wks ago from a woman who wanted a baby shower cake for herself. She wanted the cake to be pink & girlish & flowery & pretty & ultra-ultra-feminine and i thought this would be fun. I knew i could go pretty over the top since that was the vibe i got from the mother-to-be. I relished the idea of going over the top & really driving home this pink feminine fantasy--Made me think of Jayne Mansfield. I announced this cake to be "The Pink Princess Cake to End All Pink Princess Cakes". I made the announcement not sure if it really would be TPPCTEAPPC's" --i just thought it sounded dramatic & eye-catching--but there is something about the power of suggestion & the spoken word--its powerful & effective. So anyway I thought "Tiara, Butterflies, Flowers and Pink Pink Pink!" I knew i wanted butterflies so i made those first. They broke on me 3 times....i just kept making them over & over again. I was determined to have butterflies on this cake. And as ive said before it was like a rehearsal before the show. You try it, make your mistakes, figure out what youre doing wrong then get it right at showtime. I love the idea of words spelled out in flowers too so i knew i would incorporate that idea as well....i honestly didnt know if id have room for them on the cake but i made them anyway. The babys name is Honey Ann and thats alotta letters on a cake but i just figured i'd do it then worry about the placing later. I went to the baking supply store before i even started decorating and bought about a dozen pink roses not sure if i needed that many & not even sure what i was gonna do with them, i just figured 'how can anyone make a pink girly cake w/o adding some pink flowers to it?' I knew i wanted to do the polka dot/striped motif--i also knew i wanted to add my trusty old Damask pattern on there. Damask just adds a touch of class & sofistication to any cake--it is my secret weapon. I also knew i wanted this cake to be more than pink. I saw a photo of some cupcakes that were pink & lavender and i jut thought they would be a great combo so i added lavender to the mix. I thought the colors went together like a hand to glove. So as i was putting all the components to the cake together--the stripes, the dots, the damask, the butterflies, the roses, the letters, the tiara--i started to see art. i saw something original forming that i honestly felt was a bit beyond me. It just came together & i still feel like i was guided. Becaue i honestly had no real idea what this cake would look like. I had no real plan. I just made things that i thought sounded pretty & when i brought them all together--this beautiful structure appeared. I love this cake.

Graffitti Cake

2010-09-18T20:52:00.000-07:00

This is a cake i really like. Its very hip & young, cool. It didnt start off that way tho. I originally had this weird jungle tropical theme w/ a winding vine around the cake and flowers & whatnot. i made it and it looked awful. so i completely stripped the fondant and decided to just go simple. No vines, no flowers just something cool & clean. I scoured the net once again for ideas and saw some really cool graffitti on a page. I also remembered how as a kid i always liked writing in block letters. ive seen graffitti done in block letters on the streets here in Oakland many times so I thought it would be a great idea to do a block letter graffitti cake in the name of my friend David, whos birthday was coming up. He liked the color red so i covered it in red fondant, made it shiny & then outlined it in white royal icing. Another cake that looks easy but is difficult because the aim is for neatness and straight lines. Once i got that down, i wanted something to go in the front of the cake besides a border. it needed something white. I kept seeing white sea shells and moons in my head, so i made some & added some red moons, butterflies & stars as well. I think it came out nice.

Technology Cake

2010-09-18T20:22:00.000-07:00

People sometimes have a hard time beleiving or understanding that ive only been working with fondant for a yr. But like any artist i of course see the artwork and the beauty but i always see the mistakes and things that dont look perfect even clearer. So when it comes to decorating and working with fondant i still feel i have quite a ways to go. Nonetheless i have come pretty far in that one year. And the cake that sort of brought that sentiment home was a cake i did for a friends sisters boyfriend. My friend Chante's sister Tiffany's boyfriend's birthday was coming up and she wanted an Iphone cake for him. When she asked me to do it, i immedietly said yes having NO IDEA what the heck i was doing. Ive never done anything like this before! But something about the fact that she asked me to do it told me she beleived that i could, so i beleived that i could. i knew it would not be easy so i was very grateful that she gave me 2wks + notice. This gave me alotta time to mess up, re-do stuff, change things, think, etc. all the stuff you go thru when you design a cake. I first started working on the apps. I made them and then remade them all over again. I do that alot. its like rehearsal, then the actual show. After the apps were done, it was really all i had to think about. The rest was just applying the black fondant & then applying a silver band around it. The challenge was making everything look straight and on point and neat. I think i accomplished that.

Ride or Die Cake

2010-09-18T20:04:00.000-07:00

An old friend whom i used to teach baking classes to a few yrs back got a hold of me via facebook and asked me to make 2 birthday cakes for her husband and his twin brother. They both love motorcycles and wanted to incorporate that theme onto the cake. I did not originally know what direction i wanted to go w/ the whole motorcycle theme. I scoured the net and looked at various examples of things and i did what i always do...i take an idea from this cake, then i take another idea from another cake and then throw my own stuff on it and come up with something original. I saw a cake that had handmade fondant gloves on it and i thought id like to incorporate that idea, then i saw a cake that had flames & i thought i wanted to incorporate that idea--wound up nixing that idea tho. they both wanted black & red colors so i figured that would be easy--i seem to do an over abundance of red & black cakes these days but its cool cuz i like working with red & black. I knew making a mototrcycle out of fondant was gonna seriously test my artistic abilities, not to mention my patience so i decided to just buy the motorcycles at a party gift store. they turned out to be perfect in size & look. But as i was making this cake i really did not know where i was going with it, design-wise so at the last minute i thought id pull out my damask stencil & add a little glamour to it & i managed to pull off a motorcyle cake that was artistic & pretty yet kept its masculine edge.

Black & White Movie Cakes

2010-09-18T19:45:00.000-07:00

Anyone that knows me knows that i have a HUGE love of B&W films, old actors/actresses and anything to do with old Hollywood and I incorporate many of those things in my ideas for cake design. I also scour the net for inspiration of course. So i recently bought these cake dummies to practice some designs on while im in btwn orders and i decorated one. Added a few of my old hollywood inspirations and came up with this.

Tools of the Trade

2010-06-03T23:37:00.000-07:00

An old friend from my Americano Restaurant days hit me up on facebook and gave me the fun task of making a cake for an employee who was retiring. He was the carpenter/handyman where she worked and she wanted a cake that reflected his old job. So i came up with a very basic type of cake that had some interesting little tools on it. It was the first time i had ever "made" objects (outside of say, flowers) out of fondant & gumpaste. I wasnt even sure how to do it or what i was even really doing but i went at the project like i do all of my projects---like a kid....i sorta half-pretended i was playing with play-do and just went at it. As a kid i used to LOVE play-do and silly-putty and all those gummy, plasticy type of substances and could play all day building stuff from them. So i just sort of went at the project like a child who was basically playing. Didnt think too much about it, just did what i thought was right and the tools actually came out pretty good. Of course i also had the help of a photo i found on google and some tools of my own to sort of guide me.

So i made a ladder, a wrench, a screwdriver and nuts and bolts...oh yea and a hammer. I didnt really know what to do with the border so i just climed up in my cupboards to see what kinds of candies/cookies or whatever i had and I found these brightly color coated sunflower seeds. I heard they werent all that tasty. Funny, it never really occurred to me that anyone would eat them, i saw them strictly as garnish. The cake was a Vanilla Cake w/ a Strawberry Mousse and a Vanilla Buttercream. Really yummy. Like all my projects, they start at my IKEA work table : ) So i basically used some make-shift templates in order to get the correct shapes for the tools i wanted to display; pictures i found online cut-outs. Thats how i did the hammer & the wrench. The ladder i did freehand and the wrench & screws were freehand as well. I was pretty proud of the screwdriver, thought it looked authentic. I colored everything in using a combination of dyes mixed w/ vodka. i have a tiny miniature sized bottle of vodka i bought at the corner store i keep in my work table drawer for such occassionas. I simply used brown food coloring gel & the vodka and when i painted the ladder for the wood color and the base of the hammer, i was really surprised how real it looked. Not only was the color perfect but it made lines in the brown color that looked alot like wood, on its own. The rest was colored w/ silver dust & the vodka. It was well received and I got some great compliments on it.

My Interview with BASIL Magazine!!

2010-06-03T16:39:00.000-07:00

Basil Chefs

Interview with Pastry Chef David Benton

Chef Interview: Pastry Chef David Benton

Basil MAGAZINE: Did you attend culinary school and if so, which one?

Chef David Benton: Yes, I did. I attended California Culinary Academy--2004 graduate.

B: Who gave you your first break in the culinary world?

CD: Paul Masse at Masse's Pastries in Berkeley.

B: Would you recommend culinary school?

CD: Only if the individuals plan is to go into business for him/herself. There is no point in spending (or owing) thousands of dollars on culinary school simply to get a job working as a prep cook.

B: What’s your favorite “wow” dish to make?

CD: My Strawberry Tart--It has all the elements, creamy (french pastry cream), crunchy (nutty cinnamon crunch crust) & fresh (seasonal strawberries)...without being too sweet. in terms of looks and taste it wins hands down. Never fails to impress visually and one of those desserts you can never get enough of.

B: How would you describe your style of cooking?

CD: Glammed up southern. I love traditional southern recipes and then glamming them up or funking them out in an unexpected way. I also love traditional European as well & add much of that to my repritoire.

B: Who would you consider to be your most influential mentor?

CD: I never really had a mentor or anyone who showed me the ropes of baking. i get inspired by odd things like patterns, photos, time periods, symbols...things outside of baking, but I love people like Sylvia Weinstock who just does the most beautiful work on the planet and The Cake Girls are very cool too.

B: What ingredient that you like do you feel is underappreciated or underutilized and why?

CD: Candy. i use candy often in the design of my desserts, particularly cakes. If used right, it can give your design depth & color that pops and gives things an unexpected edge. I often use gumballs or chocolate balls for bottom borders and people love it.

B: What’s your most indispensable kitchen tool?

CD: My French rolling pin & my Cake Tester.

B: Do you have any favorite cookbooks?

CD: The Simple Art of Perfect Baking by Flo Braker and I just bought The Flavor Bible by Karen Page & Andrew Dornenburg and this book is slowly changing my life in terms of how i look at flavor combinations and discovering new ways of adding elements & new steps to my baking.

B: Are there any places that you would like to visit in the way of food, wine & culture?

CD: I would love to visit South America--particularly Costa Rica & Brazil....love the food, the pastries, the people and the music.

B: What is your philosophy on food and dining?

CD: Keep it simple. Make the flavors big & bold. & give me enough to feel like i ate something.

B: If you could cook for someone alive or dead, who would it be?

CD: Tina Turner--She is from the South but has lived in Europe for many years and I would love to bake something that melds both of those cultures especially for her.

B: What’s next for you (projects & upcoming events)?

CD: I am in the process of completely revamping and updating my website. I’ve got some great new photos that I want to put up, new fonts, big colors, etc. It’s going to be fun. I’m also in the process of planning for a couple of big weddings and birthday parties.

For more information on Pastry Chef David Benton:

Website: www.sugarsweetsf.com

Facebook: Pastry Chef David Benton

Vegan Tomato Soup Cupcakes w/ Vegan Cream Cheese Frosting

2010-05-23T14:30:00.000-07:00

VEGAN TOMATO SOUP CUPCAKES w/ VEGAN CREAM CHEESE FROSTING

1/2 can of Tomato Soup
3/4 stick of Soy Butter or Vegetable Margarine
3/4 c. of Sugar
3/4 tsp. Baking Powder
3/4 tsp. Baking Soda
1/4 tsp. Cloves
1/2 tsp. Cinnamon
3/4 tsp. Allspice
1 1/4 c. Cake Flour
1/4 c. Dry Egg Replacer (Red Saw Mill 100% Vegetarian)
1/2 c. Soy Milk
1/2 tsp. Vanilla
1/4 tsp. Rum
1/4 tsp. Almond Extract

Add all dry & spices to the mixing bowl. Add soy butter & mix. Put all wet ingredients--including tomato soup in a separate bowl & whisk. Slowly add wet ingredients to dry. Mix well until all ingredients are incorporated & cake mix is fairly smooth. Pour into cupcake cups and bake at 350 for 15-20mins.

VEGAN CREAM CHEESE FROSTING

1 Stick of Soy Butter
1 Stick of Margarine
3T Vegetable Shortening (crisco)
1/2 an 8 oz pkg of Tofu Cream Cheese (Tofutti)
1 3/4 c. Powdered Sugar
1/4 tsp. of Almond Extract
1/2 tsp. of Vanilla Extract

Cream Soy Butter & Tofu (or other vegetarian) Cream Cheese togther in a mixing bowl. Add salt, extracts & continue mixing. Sift Powdered Sugar into mixture.

NOTE: To change this recipe from Vegan to a traditional cake recipe, exchange the soy butter to real butter, the soy milk to buttermilk & the egg substitute to 2 Eggs. In the frosting exchange the soy & margerine w/ 2 sticks of Butter, tofo cream cheese w/ regular cream cheese & eliminate the crisco.

The Re-Launching of SUGARSWEET

2010-05-22T20:47:00.000-07:00

My website has been relaunched and i am soooo happy! It was a long time coming and I will not EVEN go into detailing the many dramas that went into it getting done but i will say it was done by a new web designer. My old web desgner is out of the pic, it looks fabulous and I am finally happy. Please check it out! http://www.sugarsweetsf.com/

Heres my new sticker & Business Card. Kinda cool, huh?

My Adventure in a Vegan Cupcake Contest

2010-05-22T20:32:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago as my pc was opening on my yahoo page i saw on local yahoo news there was a vegan cupcake contest...& that the next day was the last day to enter. It was being put on by a place called RPSCollective which stands for Rock Paper Sciccors. Basically they wanted people to submit unusual vegan recipes w/ unusal ingredients. The most unusual recipe i had was a recipe for Tomato Soup Cake w/ a Cream Cheese Frosting. Its really good. Its basically a spice cake--its got a healthy dose of Allspice, some Cinnamon & Clove--Vanilla & Almond Extract....oh yea & Tomato Soup!

The Tomato Soup adds moistness & density to the cake & gives it a sweetness that is really yummy...it sounds odd but it is super delicious. Its an old Southern recipe that most people on the West Coast (I'm assuming) know little about. & I'm also assuming that people in the Deep South are more familiar with it. Anyway it sounded so weird i just had to try it. Now i'm in love. Anyway that was one of my submissions--the other one i submitted was a Peach Cobbler Cupcake, which was a less riskier choice and probably wouldve won more people over but RPSCollective contacted me and although they told me they liked both, they were more curious about the Tomato Soup Cake and wanted me to enter that one, so i did. I decorated the cupcakes w/ melted candies shaped like tomatoes that some people thought were strawberries. lol. i liked the idea of giving people something different & taking a risk.

I've never entered a real baking contest before. This was my first time and I had fun and I was impressed w/ many of the submissions, mainly becaue i saw many bakers thinking out of the box and using their originality. There were cupcakes made w/ Curry, Coconut & Basil Leaves, a Latte flavored cupcake, some that were made w/ Chocolate & Corn(!) and one that was Lemon & lavender that i didnt like at all but won 3rd place....go figure. I also got to see that this was a contest the Vegan community here in Oakland came out in droves to see. I cant really say who was a vegan and who wasnt, but there were some hardcores there you can beleive that. As customers approached us, we had to tell them what we had "Hi. How are u? These are Tomato Soup Cupcakes with a Cream Cheese Frosting", I said that over and over again. I said it to one guy who clearly had his panties all in a bunch & his neck quite stiff about his "veganism". He glares at me and says "Its WHAT kind of Cream Cheese?" " i said "its a Vegan Creame Cheese" DUH...like i really have to tell you that--its a VEGAN Cupcake Contest you dumbass--which means there are no meat products involved--hence the word VEGAN. his girlfriend whispers something to him & he snaps "Well i just hate it when people use meat terms!!" I just thought oh jeez what frickin planet am i on? I hate militants. Loser.

So anyway we were told to make at least 40 cupcakes--i made about 45 or 46. We were also instructed to cut each cupcake in 4ths and serve it to the public in that way...which i thought was kinda odd. I mean 4ths are so small that i wasnt sure if everyone would really get to truly taste them so i started handing mine out in halfs--i wanted people to remember what they ate. I figured i brought 46--double that & you've got 92. i was pretty sure that there couldnt be more than say 100 people showing up to get cupcakes. I also figured that even if i ran out of cupcakes, most i'd be out is say 10 people. I was dead wrong on a few counts. 1.) there was about 160-170 people lined up getting cupcakes, so as many as 75+ didnt even get a Tomato Soup Cupcake which shot my odds of winning down even more. i swear it looked like that line of people was just never gonna end and 2.) Cutting them up in 4ths was a better idea than i originally thought considering how many people showed up. I shouldve just baked more. The girl who won, had the most cupcakes. She baked like 100 or more. She was also very very prepared in that she brought knives, a cutting board, a small fruit stand type decoration, an entire set up for her cupcakes. I mean hers just looked great. She was also a past winner so she clearly knew the routine. Being prepared was one of the things i learned is important from a contest, especially where the public is the judge---know what to expect or at least have a good idea. & oh yea, invite your friends so they'll vote for you which you can bet your sweet a** many of the contestants did. Theres a strategy about these contests. I hope i dont sound like a cynical crank but I realized i was not as prepared as i couldve been. But it was my first contest--there will be many more i assure you...i just got my feet wet today. I'm looking around for more contests to enter now-- i honestly had fun and who dosent want to win? i know i do.

My Interview w/ BASIL MAGAZINE!

2010-05-03T00:01:00.000-07:00

Be on the lookout for my interview in BASIL MAGAZINE!!! I will be featured as their "Spotlight Chef" for the month of June! Whoo-hoo! Veeeeery excited to be getting some exposure and speaking to the press--which i love doing! The magazine is pretty cool too--very nicely put together, informative, food centered and has a heart towards volunteerism and charity which i love. Check out their website http://www.basilmagazine.com/

Watch out for me in June!!!!!

Peach Cake-a Go Go!

2010-05-02T23:42:00.000-07:00

I got back from Portland on the 13th of April and hadnt baked anything in over a week. By the time i got back to California i was out of the baking zone I had been in and was struggling a bit to get back into it again. Before i left for my trip on March 31st, I was baking something dang nr. everyday and could barely stop but vacations will take you out of your normal routines and thats exactly what this one did. When i got back i found myself feeling lazy and the design ideas just werent coming. I remembered that i had been wanting to make a peach cake--like a peach cobbler flavored cake. So i went out grabbed some Peach flavored preserves from the cheap-o grocery store i love--Grocery Outlet and started baking.

PEACH CAKE - 8" or 9" cake

1 1/2 sticks of Butter

1 1/2 c. Sugar

1/2 c. Peach Preserves

2 Eggs

1/4 tsp. Salt

1/4 tsp. Cinnamon

1 1/2 tsp. Baking Powder

1/2 tsp. Baking Soda

2 1/2 c. Cake Flour

1 c. Buttermilk

1 tsp. Peach Extract

1/2 tsp. Rum

1/2 tsp. Almond Extract

3 drops of Peach Color Food Dye

Heat oven to 350. Cream Butter, Sugar & Preserves. Put dry in a seperate bowl. Measure buttermilk in measuring cup, add eggs and extracts, rum--whisk w/ fork. Add some of the wet mixture, then some of the dry. Alternate btwn the two until finish. Pour in a prepared pan and bake for about 35-40mins.

Mine came out golden--with the peach food coloring helping out a bit but it also came out with a hole in the middle. That happens sometimes when you do too much peeking in the oven, which i have a bad habit of doing alot. i covered it in a yummy velvelty smooth yolk-based Vanilla Buttercream that was just deeeeelicious!

It sat in the frigerator probably a day before i realized that i knew someone with a birthday that was fast approaching and rather than just giving this cake to some random person or (heaven forbid) eating myself--i thought it would be a nice surprise to make something for my friend Milton. This got me back in the zone of ideas and back in the relm of baking which id been out of for close to 3wks now. Couldnt really think of what i wanted to do until i found myself staring at my box-set of Girl Groups CD's. i love the oldies but goodies, girl groups, doo-wop all that stuff. So this box set was shaped like a real 1950's hat box. The CD's look like little diaries w/ lockets. Super cool! I love using the color black on cakes. it adds a little unexpected drama and is a color not usually associated with baking. So the stripes on the box were calling me. i had some small blood red roses leftover from another cake i did while i was in Portland and thought it would make an even more dramatic statement against the black & white stripes. Added some green leaf made from gum paste and a white border made from royal icing.

Milton loved his birthday cake.

An Italian Meringue Mess

2010-05-02T22:36:00.000-07:00

Since ive basically taught myself how to bake (with a class or 2 here & there) so alot of what i do is trial & error. Sometimes I can just look at something and figure out how its done & if i do it enough times, i'll basically master it. I watch alotta Youtube videos, read books & watch "Amazing Wedding Cakes" and take notes. Real notes--like i really write stuff down. Well ive been trying to teach myself how to make Italian Meringue Buttercream. & it hasnt been easy or fun. I just cant seem to master it. its weird cuz I know how to make expert meringue. I did it everyday at Masse's Pastries. & i make a yummy buttercream, but melding the two together. forget it. I start off right with the egg whites in a bowl and all that.

I add the Cream of Tartar, let it mix, slowly add a Tablespoon of Sugar as the meringue starts to form. The Meringue takes off and is mixing right---its stiff but then i start adding the butter and wind up with a complete melted and/or curdled mess. I do it time & time again. I follow the recipe from "The Art of Perfect baking" by Flo Braker which is my own personal baking bible. I have no clue what I am doing wrong. But this is what i end up with. Anyway its super frustrating not being able to "get" something that i know is pretty simple & elementary. With me now taking on wedding cakes and large scale cakes, learning how to make an Italian Meringue Buttercream is pretty important. I am determined to get it right but i really wish i had someone standing over me telling me what im doing wrong. If you have any tips or a full proof recipe PLEASE let me know!!

Let's Work!

2010-04-20T16:29:00.000-07:00

In 2 days itll be a full year since the last time i wrote in my blog. its taken me a while to figure out what my angle for writing is. my purpose. why do i need to write? i know everyone has a blog these days---but what for? whats the point? & who actually reads this stuff anyway? so my pastry chef friend jonathan sent me an email reminding me that i should start writing again. then he added "i'm curious about your thoughts on some of your creations". hmmmmm.......i thought that would be a good start. the creative process. i could talk about that. i could also talk business--but that might fall into the category of bitching cuz ive got plenty to bitch about when it comes to the money part.

but i digress.....in my last blog entry i was in a wilton cake decorating class trying to make sugar roses---something i still dont know how to do. i was working at my architectural librarian job at BAR Architects and taking the classes once a week. Well a week after that entry was made, i was laid off from my job at BAR and free of office life. The day i got the phone call that i was laid off, i knew I was being laid off before i even picked up the phone. When i was called into the office & told i was laid off my emotional state was completely schizo--i was scared about my future, nervous at hearing those words "sorry we're letting you go" , disapointed that it was me & not someone else & just slightly hurt to be let go but there was another side of me that was thrilled to never have to walk into that office again, excited to be able to have all the free time i wanted, releived to still have a paycheck coming in & happy to start some serious, no-playing-around baking. This lay off was a blessing & i knew it even as i sat in the chair & listened to their speil on how sorry they were & all that mess. I couldnt wait to get out of that conference room, grab my stuff, jam outta there & start my new life. I didnt hate working at BAR--it was a nice place & i really liked working with the architects (working w/ the clique/jr. high-ish admin staff was another story altogether) but mostly i felt office work held me back & made my desire to be a real pastry chef look like a pipe dream that would probably never happen.

I saw a movie recently called "Revolutionary Road" w/ Kate Winslet & Leo DiCaprio about (spoiler alert!!) a married couple who were both talented artists who wanted to fulfill their desire for being artists. But life got in the way, she had a baby, he got a good secure office job & a mortgage & she became a bored housewife. They were both unsatisfied & knew they were living a lie---they were not taking on what they knew was their destiny---which was to be artists. So they made a pact that he would quit his job, they would sell the house & move to France & fulfill their dream & passion of being artists. Well the security of the office job was too much for Leo to give up. the 401K, the pension, the retirement--give all of that up to move to France & be artists??? Bah! He convinced her to forget the dream & get real...& well...things just went downhill from there. It was a true tragedy. One many of us live out.

So anyway i beleive God has given me this time to fulfill my destiny, work on my craft, perfect it, tweek it, whatever and I have (for the most part) used this time wisely. If i dont bake something or work on some baking project or work on typing up recipes or do something to my business/website everyday i feel that ive wasted my day. So since i havent done anything baking-wise today its time for me to get to work on something.

All Roses Have Thorns

2009-04-23T10:37:00.001-07:00

If there was ever an ego deflator---last nights cake decorating class (my last class in Course 1) was it. How does someone who shot thru 15 grueling months of culinary school, 2 yrs at one of the best bakeries in the bay area and starting his own business not know how to decorate an uber-simple Safeway type cake? I have had many “I Love Lucy” type moments in my life---like the time I took a dance class at Laney College positive I would razzle & dazzle my way thru it since I razzled & dazzled my way on every dance floor in San Francisco only to wind up completely confused by the choreographed dance steps, stumbling and knocking into the person next to me and almost running into a mirror---last nights cake decorating class brought back bad memories of the confusion and frustration that comes with knowing you can do something and having it all blow up in your face.

For starters the classes are too short—2hrs is not enough time to do all that we have to learn, mess up and re-learn it. Culinary school classes were 8hrs long. We’re learning how to make roses out of stiff icing which is not easy. You’ve seen those Safeway cakes that have the roses on them—they’re nice but its the kinda stuff your grandparents like. So anyway we were instructed to bring in “medium” icing and stiff icing for the roses. So I brought in what I thought was medium consistency icing and stiff consistency icing. Well the medium was too stiff and stiff was damn near like cement. OK so I had to add water (yes water) to the icing to un-stiff it. Meanwhile everyone around me is making roses and “getting it”. I’m mixing the stuff so fast in order to not be left behind that the water is getting everywhere. The Crisco icing is not mixing well with the water so my hands are greasy AND wet. When I finally get it all mixed, the teacher comes by and tells me the icing is now too soft. Whatever—I cant do anything about it now. You can soften it but after its been soften, no way to harden the shit back up again. So I’m trying to fill my pastry bags with this Crisco/watered down stuff and the pastry bag is slipping out of my greasy hands. My little work area is loaded w/ partially wet paper towels, bags, icing—it’s a mess. The icing has also been colored blue so my hands and pants have blue dye all on them and all I’m hearing is “Great Susie, you’re getting it!” “That’s a nice rose, Jack!” And I’m bout ready to just throw the whole Criso watered blue mess up against a freakin wall. I’m scrambling to find the correct pastry tips for my bag. When I finally get everything together—bags filled, pastry tips on the bags and I’m ready to squeeze my roses out its obvious my icing is in fact too soft. The roses just sorta blob out and fall. Theres a faint resemblance of a rose but it dosent look like what I want it to look like so I keep doing it over and over. The teacher comes by and sees my progress, is encouraging but I’m still frustrated that my roses don’t look like the roses I’m seeing around me. We are instructed not to toss the roses out but keep them---I don’t understand why since if they don’t look good whats the point in keeping them? Dump it and start over again, right? I forget that we are building a cake and the roses are going to be placed on top of that cake. I decide to skip the corny Safeway looking cake with the cheesy roses on top anyway and do this other cake idea in our book that has these smaller intricate type flowers around the bottom & top border. Theres more of them and the design of the tiny flowers circling the cake looks more interesting to me—ever the outsider I figure I don’t want to do what everyone else is doing anyway. So I attempt to do the small flowers around the cake and as I’m doing it I’m seeing that it is not looking anything like the cake in the book and these little flowers are much harder to make than I thought----now I’m really confused. Why is this not working out? And why didn’t I just do the damn rose cake that everyone else is doing because now I’m looking around the room and everyone’s cake is almost done and they honestly look nice---dare I say beautiful. The roses look very professional and truly impressive. My cake looked like a 4th grade experience gone wrong. The “flowers” looked like blue sausages. I rarely ever cry about anything but if theres anything that may make the tears well up, its seeing other people do things that I want to do but can’t---more flashbacks to grade school. So I look at my ugly little half-done cake and just call it quits. I put my cake back in the box and wonder where I can toss it. Its almost 8:30 time to go home thank God. I vow to spend part of this weekend doing this cake and doing those roses if I have to spend entire days or the entire weekend doing it. I just have to do those roses. So I spend the last few moments of class walking around the room and looking at the beautiful cakes everyone has done. They were really pretty and colorful. I grab my stuff and start walking out and I hear a voice behind me say “For a class that’s supposed to be so fun I always end up pissed off.” “Yea,” I say “I know what you mean.”

Smell my Rose.

2009-04-20T14:15:00.001-07:00

So Cake Decorating class was a bit frustrating for me last Wednesday. Frustrating mainly because they really make you buy so much Wilton stuff that if you don’t, you’ll be left out and left behind everyone. Like for instance—they wanted us to make one of 2 cakes. One was very simple w/ a few little flowers on it made from a large pastry tip and the other was a cake w/ clowns & a whole “circus” motif going on---like I say very Safeway-ish but cute. So I decide to do the more challenging circus one but am told theres no point in attempting it if you didn’t buy the clown heads ahead of time and the bows…that is unless you want a headless, bowless clown cake. Oh well so I do the easy flowers one. It looked nice but very ho-hum in my opinion. Had I known I would end up doing the simple cake I would’ve mentally planned for that one. I had my mind on that crazy circus thing. So my cake looked very simple and almost identical to someone else’s cake in the class. The idea that it looked like I copied someone else made me want to leave the class---more memories of public school I guess. Wanting to stand out & all that jazz. But I didn’t throw any such tantrum and figured I’d just be more prepared by the next class—by being more prepared I guess that means buiying more stuff. Like I said I think its good---no, great business to do what theyre doing--giving these classes and making people buy stuff because I know Wilton is rolling in the bucks and believe me, I am taking mental notes on how I will finagle people into doing the same when I open SUGARSWEET but I guess I just don’t like being one of the duped. So I sat in class last week feeling left being and duped into spending more money to catch up. Nevertheless I am learning some things. I learned how to do a very nice simple border that I always see on Safeway cakes. It looks like a seashell with a tail. Or a sperm at the bottom of your cake. Its cute. Then I learned how to make roses out of semi-stiff icing which I was pretty bad at along with everyone else. Its very difficult—theres a good amount of twisting and twirling of one hand and steady precision of the other. It looks easy when you watch someone who knows how, do it but trying it on your own is crazy. But I am determined to do those roses.

After class I just came home and went to bed. Something kinda funny happened tho. I woke up at 4am and couldn’t sleep. Usually when I wake up that early (particularly on a work nite) I try hard to just lay still & fall back asleep but instead I turned the tv on and Martha Stewarts Wedding Cakes was on---and I forgot about sleeping and just sat there transfixed. It was basically a showcase of various pastry shops around the country who specialize in beautiful wedding cakes. Those cakes were just stunning. There were lots of flowers, roses, deep rich colors, intricate design, beauty...wow. I felt like I was watching my future. I saw one place that made flowers so realistic looking if you put one of their edible sugar flowers up against a real flower you would not be able to tell the difference. Wow. That’s art. If I can get anywhere close to that skill, I will be a happy person. So I am juiced and excited about my classes and learning more and doing more.

A Crisco Dilemma

2009-04-09T16:47:00.000-07:00

I attended my 2nd out of 4 Wilton Cake Decorating Classes last night. It was actually quite fun but boy do you have to buy a lot of stuff. Luckily its all things I need and/or shouldve had in the first place, its just buying it all at once puts a dent in your bank account. Soon as I thought I had everything I realize I need more stuff. Its all investments in the end –all tools and utensils I will be using in my business. So like I said this class was fun. We had homework from the previous class---we were instructed to bake a cake of our own and make that awful Crisco icing, ice our cake and then bring more icing in for class. I honestly cannot believe they teach us to make that Crisco stuff, its just bad. Bland, tasteless, dry and plasticy. Ugh. So I did it, even iced the cake the way she showed us in class w/ the big wide pastry tip. I did it but I didn’t like it and managed to still get crumbs on my cake. I’m gonna ice my cakes the way they showed us in school: a crumb coat then a full coating after that. Its just easier and makes more sense to my brain. Anyway class was interesting. Going to school always takes me back to kiddiesville. Especially a class like this. Reminds me of Miss Jewel’s 5th grade art class where I usually felt more like on my own turf and where the competitive streak always came out of me. I thought I was hot stuff in art class and was always trying to impress the teacher and stand out. Always eyeing who was equal or better than me—then trying to top them. I guess things have changed somewhat cause I wasn’t competing with anyone and was really focusing on what we were doing. So we put a squiggle border on the bottom of our cakes which looked nice—very Safeway-ish—but cute. We also practiced writing which is much harder than you may think. Holding a bag filled with goo and trying to write with that is much more difficult than writing with a pen or pencil. But I sat there and wrote HAPPY BIRTHDAY FROM YOUR FRIENDS over and over again on a stencil until it felt natural. I’ll be practicing more at home this weekend cause I need a lot of help in that dept. The 2hrs flew by and my cake was decorated and looking like one of those traditional birthday cakes that they sell at Safeway of Lucky’s. That stuff average people seem to think is pretty. It honestly looked delicious but I didn’t know what to do with it. I wasn’t gonna eat that thing and I wasn’t gonna give it to anyone and have them thinking I use Crisco icing. Do I give it away and risk people thinking that this icing was MY idea? Or do I throw away a perfectly good cake in the garbage and feel the guilt of wasting food. My grandmother grew up during the Great Depression and raised my mom on Great Depression type values of never wasting food—like ever. So in turn my mom raised me on Great Depression waste not/want not type vales as well. My conscious would never allow me to throw that cake away. Faces of hungry homeless people danced in my head. So I decided to just go home and give it to Qaasim, my cousin who stays with me. I told him to just take it to his job, place it on the lunch table and walk away…and don’t dare tell anyone I had anything to do with it. I hope he did it.

I am not a Wiltonite

2009-04-02T12:52:00.001-07:00

I went to my first installment of Cake Decorating Classes last night. The classes are done at Michael’s Art Supplies and sponsored by the Wilton Cake people. I’m very familiar with Michael’s Art supplies becuz its right next door to the Ross Store and I’m at Ross damn nr. every wknd shopping my head off. I just love that place. I used to work with Jovida Ross who’s a member of the Ross Stores family a few years back ---but anyway....

So I walk into Michaels---you go to the side of the store where there’s a classroom—inside the classroom is a big table w/ about 8 people sitting around it. Its quiet, awkward, so I go in & sit down. I am so far the only guy, no one is saying anything—just quietly sitting around this huge table. Its an interesting bunch—various races & ages—from the very young to the pretty old & everything in btwn. A coupla guys show up—I’m relieved---before you know it the class is pretty full—about 16 people, mostly women . The teacher pops in and out putting decorating supplies on the table, dosent say a word to us—no hello, no acknowledgment just putting supplies on the table and jets out for more supplies. Finally she takes roll and I can tell from the sound of her voice she is gonna be nice. & she is—huge relief there. The last thing I need right now is to volunteer my time after work(!) for some bullsh*t. I’m not in the mood for it and woulda walked out & demanded my money back had she been a bitch. But she seems really cool, fun, funny and must enjoy teaching cuz she teaches 4th & 5th graders all week & teaches baking classes 4 days a week at night. Wow! I’m just too lazy to do all that—the 5 day a week teaching gig alone would’ve wiped me out--& then more teaching at night? No thanks. & her wknd is what—grading papers? Definitely not for me but I admire people who have that kind of dedication & drive….and energy! And I personally believe teachers are to always be respected.

It was clear from the beginning that part of the class was an opportunity for Wilton to sell product because in taking the classes, you realize you have to buy stuff & since youre right in the store where they sell it, why not? Very clever! Its also very tricky and I don’t like being tricked or steered into having to buy stuff if I don’t want or need to. Nevertheless I admired the business of it—made think of someday doing something similar when I open SUGARSWEET to the public. Give baking classes at night & sell product-- its a smart way to keep those dollars rolling in. I could also see that the style of decorating theyre teaching is very mainstream, Safeway-ish which is definitely not the direction I’m trying to go into but I think its good to know how to do this kind of stuff plus you can always take what you learned and curve it into another bolder direction. Learn the simple then go on to the complicated. Don't try to make Eggs Florentine if you can't make scrambled eggs right.

So the class starts and she’s showing us what Wilton supplies we will need and we’re asking questions and stuff. Its pretty interesting but I notice she’s saying things that are contrary to what I learned in culinary school—like how its OK to use box cake mix & how its no different from a scratch cake! & how if you use milk in frosting & the expiration date on the milk expires that the icing will go bad on that date too—which I couldn’t really say was true or not but it sounded suspect & I’m still not sure I’m buying that one. She recommends using water to thin your icings which I will politely refuse to do. Water in your delicious icing? I think not. So is she lying? Is she giving out false info? Is this some kind of Wilton conspiracy? America is just loaded with these mega-uber-conglomerate industries that are hell-bent on ramming their sick philosophy of mainstream happiness via capitalistic hypnotism down your throat and turn you into one of their robots which I have no interest in becoming....Or am I just a culinary school snob? One thing about culinary school educated chefs that drives A LOT of people in the cooking world nuts is that we think the way we were taught in school is THE only way to do it & we have a hard time understanding that there are other ways of execution. I can remember seeing employment ads on craigslist looking to hire chefs that boldly said “No Culinary School Graduates!” Ouch! So anyway she pulls out a cake and begins to frost it. I notice she didn’t do a crumb coat first—a crumb coat is a thin layer of icing around a cake to control all the crumbs. You lightly frost it then stick it in the fridge, let it harden a bit then put your real layer on. That’s what we learned in culinary school. Well she pulled out this huge pastry tip (789) and frosted the cake that way. As she was doing this I thought “well I wont be doing MINE that way!” But it came out perfect! I was pretty impressed w/ how it looked. My cakes haven’t looked that perfect in a long time. The other thing that rankled me at first was the insistence of using Crisco (of all things) to make icing. The very idea of that is enough to make me wanna just roll over & vomit. But again she got me to thinking—Crisco is stiffer than butter & holds things together & gives your icing a “look”. I will never use Crisco as an icing in itself but I wonder what a medium sized dollop would look & taste like in my buttercream. hmmmm….& lets face it, my cakes need a “look” and I’m looking for all the help I can get in this department. Another thing I need are more utensils. I need tools, a toolbox, more ingredients, better ingredients, more adventurous ingredients---so overall I liked the class and the instructor. I tried not to and even felt compelled to challenge her on some things but seeing is believing and had I not seen some things myself I would’ve never believed they were possible. Or have they already sucked me into being a Wilton robot?

Recession Cake

2009-03-26T11:44:00.000-07:00

Rather than going thru the drama of apologizing for my laziness in writing on my blog how bout I just get right in and onto it.

But heres a recap – Still working at BAR and still baking. The recession has everyone in all a tither…except me. Despite the fact that layoffs are becoming so common its almost a joke, I’m not worried. That dosent mean I don’t think I’ll get laid off, because I probably will. In fact I’m kinda welcoming it. I’ll explain: When youre an artist, having a 9-5 is a blessing and a curse. It’s a blessing because you have money, you can pay your bills, eat how you want and even go shopping. You may be an artist but you wont be starving. The curse comes in when you get so used to it that you see more of a future in the job than in your dream. & this is a common thing that happens sometimes—why work so hard on your dream when you just lay back & rely on whats easy like everyone else? The old 9-5! So that’s why I’m sorta embracing being laid off—it’ll force me to take an alternate route for money and put the focus back on my personal skills and talent. Because honey right now aint nobody hiring receptionist or librarians or whatever. Those jobs are all but dried up—theyre doing that stuff themselves. Most city offices have laid off a good portion of their staff and are barely surviving. They call it a recession but I think it’s a depression. Everywhere you look people are out of work & struggling. People are committing suicide and killing their families over it. Its nuts. But I personally think its a GREAT time for artists and people with other skills. We don’t have to rely on just one means of making our dough we can always use our hands. So my plan is to get laid off, take some much needed time of , live off my tax/savings/unemployment combo and get to work on SUGARSWEET. The time off part is my favorite--I don’t know if I’m lazy, old or just tired of working but I am always ready for a long lazy vacation. I end a vacation and am counting the days to the next one. I really believe you can never have enough leisure time. & I don’t need to be travelling or going anywhere either. Give me a comfy couch, a remote control & some yummy food—ahhhh heaven. People ask me what my goal is, my answer—to never have to do anything ever again.

So anyway my plan is pretty ambitious for SUGARSWEET. I want to revamp the site with new photos, text, new menu items and just jazz it up. I’m searching for a hook, a gimmick, something that’ll stick in peoples minds and I just don’t know where it’ll come from. I love SUGARSWEET but there’s something missing—it dosent have that pop! I think a business needs to compete & survive. I been thinking of making everything vegan and selling only small items---cookies, cupcakes, no cakes over 6”, tartlets---cute dinky stuff that’s low in calories & fat but big on flavor and design. I don’t want people to even know they’re eating something vegan or healthy. So anyway ive got some cool vegan baking books coming in the mail, I’m gonna test some things out so how things taste and change the menu around. I think it’ll be cool to introduce people to healthy stuff that dosent look or taste healthy. As for changing the menu to small items I’m gonna need advice on that cuz that’s one of those ideas that could be a bomb. What I need is a business partner—so I can bounce ideas off him or her. So those are my ideas for the business, my ideas for me as a person needing money—well, I’m planning on peddling my wares all over town—to local cafes, restaurants, coffee shops, whatever and really seeing what the response to my stuff is. I know what friends and family think—I wanna know what the world thinks. So peddling things to the public will be my way of finding out and a nice way to make some money.

I also plan to do more advertising via the web—myspace, facebook, twitter, etc. I want to get my license and really look for a professional kitchen to use. But before I do all that I really want to see how the changes & revamps are done. Because right now I’m not happy. I’m not happy w/ my cake decorations—whats in my head is not transferring onto the cakes and its frustrating and I end up going with something simple i.e. boring. I saw a blog here on blogger where someone had pics of nothing but tacky designed cakes—it was funny but I couldn’t help thinking that a few of mine could’ve gone right up there. So to counter that I’m taking cake decorating classes. I’m taking one at Michaels in San Leandro and one at Spun Sugar in Berkeley. Very excited about that! I’m also realizing that some of my recipes are not 100% fool proof and that I need to go over them again---I want to really get excited about what I’m doing with SUGARSWEET cuz right now I’m just bored and I don’t want to quit, I just want it to change. http://www.sugarsweetsf.com/

david

I'm ready for my close-up Mr. Demille!

2008-05-19T21:20:00.000-07:00

Sunday was quite interesting. I was on the set of a movie filmed by the guy who photographed some of the pics on my website. Adam (the filmaker) called me on Saturday and told me he needed me to play a food delivery guy in his latest film the very next day. I said sure. This is to be the 2nd part in one of his films that I've played. I like playing in his films, its fun and Adam is a very talented and patient director. & he shoots things so beautifully. In his last film, I played a Muslim guy who was getting married. All you could see was the back of my head. In this latest one i ring a doorbell, say "hi, you're foods here." I tell the lead actor its $18, he gives me $20 and tells me to keep the change, i cheerfully say "Thanks!" and split. Adam played back my scene to me--i actually looked good on film. i was surprised i hate photos of myself most of the time. Not sure what the names of these films are--I dont even think Adam knows. Its to be announced or decided. Anyway After I filmed my little scene I stuck around and watched Adam film some pretty interesting stuff--nothing too risque just lots of people kissing---it was interesting. The films he's making (and i think there are 3 or 4 total) will be available for distrobution if they get bought which i'm sure they will be. At one point it was just me, Adam, and the sound guy in the room while he filmed these two people make out. Then after that actors' scene was over, another actor came in and did the same thing. As i watched all this i thought "ok so this is why people flock to hollywood. you get to sit there making out w/ some goodlooking person, while youre brilliantly lit and get a fat paycheck when your done." The lead actor barely knew his lines--at one point he sat there filming his "tender moment" scene....with the script sitting on his lap. Whenever he'd cast his eyes downward--on film it looked like he was thinking deeply or being pensive when in fact he was looking at his next line. it was hard for me to look the actors in the face as they did their scenes so i looked in the camera and watched how it looked & was shot which by the way, looked really nice. Adam is one talented guy. All the actors were incredibly thin. Wouldve loved to feed them a few of my yummy desserts! That would've helped things a bit.

I had cake orders like crazy this weekend. Made 2 cakes for a young girl who graduated from UC Berkeley--both decorated with Cal Berkeley colors (blue & gold). They came out nice but I never heard from the girl if she liked them or not. I hope she did! I also had an order from a friend of a friend who's been wanting to taste my wares for some time now. I made a chocolate cake with vanilla buttercream and a chocolate tart for her & her co-workers. I delivered both to her home on Sunday. Today she sent me an email titled "mmmmmmmmmmm!!!!" i have an order from my own job to make 12 dozen cookies for this Wednesday--which sounds like alot but actually is a very simple order. I made the cookie doughs tonite and will bake them off tomorrow. I added a new cookie flavor--White chocolate & cranberry. & mmmmmmm they were delicious! I'm also making peanut butter, chocolate chip & oatmeal raisin for this order. I took the baking powder out of the peanut butter recipe finally & just added more baking soda. I hate baking powder in cookies--they look cakey or they get too flat. Everything else was fine tho.

Its getting late and I'm sleepy. Its been a long day.....nite!

Sugarsweetsf.com

2008-05-12T19:09:00.000-07:00

Well i finally moved to a new home. Thank Heavens! Literally at the last minute i found a duplex in E. Oakland that was remodeled like WHOA. Its beautiful. The inside looks like a home in the suburbs--& i mean that in a good way. Everything is new. Everything. Its roomy and the kitchen is off tha hook. Granite tiles, more cupboards than I know what to do with. The bathroom is done in limestone. & it has that brand new smell that i love. No more (i hope!) torched cars and kicked down doors--& no more in your face neighbors! & the street i live on, despite its location is very very peaceful & quiet. I get a very good vibe coming here. Well i have one but she's up front and I dont see her often, but she's cool tho. But more on that later.

The big news right now is that my beautiful website was just launched today, check it out http://www.sugarsweetsf.com/

I'm very proud of it. Its everything i wanted it to be and more. God had his hand on my shoulder with this one. I found this very cool very talented young woman named Rika who made this all happen. It all started when I put an ad on craigslist saying i was an up & coming pastry chef who needed a colorful creative website, didnt have alot of money & i wanted to hire someone talented to do my site & to send me examples of their work. I was flooded with offers. i think like 30 came in the first 10 minutes. So i picked this "company" made up of a few young guys who had experience in web design. Their sites looked nice and I was all ready to sign on the dotted line, until Rika kept sending me emails telling me how excited she was to do my site. when i looked at her site i was impressed. more impressed than i was with the guys--she seemed to have the artistic flair and the knowledge of flow & color i was looking for with my site. & when we talked about pricing she was saying all the right numbers. Thats all i needed. I knew she was the right person. I just knew. At first i gave her my ideas and she was gracious enough and considered them but none of them looked right. So i just let her do her stuff. She pretty much took everything i told her and came up with something that is stunning. Of course the photography of my friends Rob Prideaux and Afdere (Adam) Jama brought to full circle. When it was done yesterday, i sent a huge email to just about everyone i knew. I want everyone to know about it. I am a shameless promoter. Period. And I'm not done pumping it up either. Anyway i would love to hear your comments about it. It was nice hearing so many people say how beauitful it is. I heard alot of "im so proud of you's!" that was nice too. i was floating yesterday. Still am really. i just like to sit and look at it. Its nice man.

So outside of having a cold in hot weather right now, I'm doing fine. I got my first order yesterday so I gotta finish that now! See ya!

My Yogi, Myself

2008-04-12T21:28:00.000-07:00

Its been 6 months since the last time i posted a blog--and as disapointed as i am to admit this, i am happy to say that in the 6 months of my abscence I have made alot of progress in my baking and in the direction of my career. but before i get into all that, lets discuss where i am right at this very moment. well for one its hot az hell and i hate hot weather. ugh. mid april & it feels like mid july. i am finally moving out of this hell-hole apartment building. gave my 30 days notice almost 2 wks ago. where am i going? i dont know becuz i havent found a place yet. i'm packed & ready to go--but go where? funny cuz im not stressing about it at all. having a few thousand dollars in the bank always gives one a bit more confidence especially when one isnt used to having anything. so altho i dont have a place as yet, i do have the money to move when i finally find my dream home. i have appointments lined up & i plan to have a home by next week so im chillin on the whole thing. more than anything i need a decent kitchen. something sizeable & inspiring would be nice. lotsa cabinsets & room to spread my arms. my baking classes are still going stronger than ever. I have one on May 3rd. As much as i love teaching these classes my shyness always gets the best of me. It isnt until halfway through the class that i finally feel free enough to just be myself. I always feel on the spot. Nevertheless they are coming along nice and the desserts have been impressive. We made an Upside-done Peach Caramel Cake that was off the hook---in looks and taste. I, as the rest of the class, was duly impressed! I knew i had to put that on the menu. & i can say for the most part it is an origianl recipe. The recipe that was given to me was from one of Nigella Lawsons book and when i made it (twice), it was a disaster in looks, taste, texture. So one day i sat at my desk and just guessed what additional ingredients i would add to firm it up, give it more flavor & the cups measurments & all that. Purely guessing. i tried to guess as best as i could, fully knowing that w/o actually being in the kitchen & writing it down as you make it--there was no way this recipe would come out good just sitting at my desk guessing. when i got home that night, i made it just as i wrote it--it was perfect.

I now have a myspace page that I have put all my pics up--for now. www.myspace.com/bayareab0ii A friend saw my myspace page & was really excited about it. he prophesied that i would be very successful. He said he felt it in his spirit. Anyway he just went on and on about how I was gonna make it, I would be very successful and that my life would change. Honestly it made me feel really good.....for days! A few days later I got a similar prophesy this time from a complete stranger (& i put serious emphasis on the STRANGE part). I was walking down Market Street in San Francisco during a break and right as i passed McDonalds, an East Indian man was walking toward me and before he passed me he pointed at my face and said "you are a very lucky man" and kept walking. i whipped around and said "what did you say?", he repeated it to me and told me that i had a glow around my face and that i was very very lucky. That very shortly my life would change and that he could see that great things were gonna happen to me very soon---like in a month! He said he was a Yogi and that i would be travelling and meeting all kinds of people & that i wouldnt have to worry about money. He also told me that i would also find love. As soon as he said that part, i knew i was being scammed. i said "OK, do you want money? what are you telling me this for? you tryna sell me somethin?" He said no and pulled out a piece of paper and started writing. then he balled the tiny paper up and handed it to me and told me not to open it. So i stood there holding on to this piece of lint while he told me all this stuff. he kept telling me that he was a Yogi and that he had "a gift" that he could see things and that he could see my future clearly and that i was a blessed person whos life would change for the better very very fast. This mind you, is taking place right smack on Market Street during lunchtime as the world is passing us by. So then he asks me to think of a number btwn 1 & 100, i say 10. he asks me my favorite color, i say blue. Then he asks me my birthdate and i tell him. Then he tells me to open the piece of lint i had been holding and when i open it, it has all the things written on it that i just told him. I thought i was gonna pee my pants. i honestly got scared & nearly dropped the paper--i become panicky. this man went from charming to scary in seconds. i realized i had been entertaining him for too long and it was time to say my goodbyes! i wasnt sure if he was playing with God or with demons, either way it was too freaky for me so I jammed "I gotta go man!" As i left him i couldnt help wonder if perhaps he was saying something real to me. Didnt a friend of mine just say the same thing not even a few days ago? I wondered for days had i made a mistake just taking off like that. Why did he just pick me? Maybe this was about my baking! Maybe he had more to tell me. Maybe he was just some nut. Heaven knows i have a knack for attracting crazies. I didnt know and tried not to think too much about it. Whatevers gonna happen is gonna happen, right?

On a more exciting note--i have a friend name Afdere (Adam) Jama who is an up & coming filmaker/photographer who had me bake a bunch of things and then came over & photographed them. I baked my head off. I made that Upside-down peach caramel cak (which is as stunning as it is delicious), i baked some cookies, a chocolate tart, a berry tart and i did somehting had been swimming in my head for a long time--a fruit color series of cakes. i would make cakes that resembled the fruit they were based on and dye them accordingly. a lime cake would be green of course, the frosting AND the cake, it would also taste and smell like the fruit too. the orange cake was orange, looked very orange inside out & tasted very orange as well. I also did a lemon and a starwberry one the same exact way. They were all delicious and beautiful. The photographs took my breath away. Amazing. Anyway i plan on getting a website done and I'm gonna use those pics along with some others i have taken by another photographer friend. Its nice having artistic friends let me tell ya! After all was said & done, photgraphs were taken and it was time to go home--the question remained: what was i to do with all these sweets. Adam just too them all and within 2 days, he & a friend managed to eat everything! My baking is truly getting better and my ideas are getting bolder--things are getting fun again. OK so thats all for now. latah!

How I survived Anxiety and Overcame w/ the help of a Chocolate Lava Cake

2007-10-04T16:17:00.000-07:00

i taught another class over the weekend & its taken me a while to talk about it simply because i wasnt sure what i wanted to say---besides of course that it was alot of fun. we made Chcolate Lava Cakes and Peach Galette. but really it was more than just fun and more than just cooking. for me it sorta opened some closed windows--& what i mean by that is that i always thought i was too shy & nervous to stand there and teach anything to anyone. i mean what do i know to teach anyone? but i do know alot about baking and cooking. More than what i thought i knew. I didnt feel shy or nervous at all, even when something didnt go right, i still felt at ease, relaxed & in control. that was a great relief. & very unexpected.

You see, i'm one of those people who get absolutely panic-stricken at the thought of talking in front of people--even people i know! One sentence that always make the blood rush to my head & my hands tremble is "so we're gonna go around the room and everyone stand up and tell us your name & something about yourself". thats when i start thinking of a clever way to take a trip to the bathroom w/o anyone realizing i'm trying to escape & stay there until the meet & greet is over! So yea its not one of my favorite things. As i said, a window was opened (or is it a door?) whatever--anyway teaching was a very freeing experience. gave me confidence that i can feel in other areas of my life. I dont know everything about baking and heaven knows I still have alot to learn but I do have the basics and a few of the intermediates down. Plus I love just to bake---and I love to teach! it relaxes me and gives me an outlet to create something. every artist needs that. So now i am seriously looking for opportunities to teach and ways to shape my classes so that they are interesting and have an individual stamp on them. I love music playing in the background when i bake so maybe i'll add that--make specific cd's to cook to and bring them to my classes. T-shirts is another idea. i love cool t-shirts---could have some made & then give them out as a bonus at the end of each class. hmmmmm....ideas. ideas. we'll see.

The Dreams & Nightmares of A Pastry Chef on the Rise

2007-08-31T16:58:00.000-07:00

OK after what--a year of talking about my baking, i finally got the cajones to put something up. This is a cake i made over the weekend. Its a 12" poppyseed cake w/ a fresh berry filling & buttercream. This is my favorite cake of all the cakes I make & the one that everyone else seems to love as well. Its a pure white butter cake (no egg yolks) that is melt-in your mouth delicious....mmmm! this was made---along w/ 3 other cakes for my job's monthly birthday celebration. i made a carrot cake, a chocolate-chocolate & a chocolate w/ vanilla buttercream. Took almost 3 days to complete & was quite an experience! I had help this time tho. A while back my auntie Charlotte expressed an interest in helping me bake someday so when i told her about it she was really juiced about coming over to my place & helping me. At any rate we worked really well together, she understood everything & was instrumental in helping me design the look of the some of the cakes. We had a glass or two of champagne, put on some Etta James & baked our headz off. When all was said & done her help was truly invaluable & i found myself bowing at her feet, realizing I couldntve done it (within the time span i had) w/o her. I can really get in over my head sometimes & have a tendency to do things the hard way w/o realizing I could make things easier on myself by asking for the things i need rather than just doing it on my own. Ive always had to do things on my own anyway so my brain just naturally goes in that direction. It was nice tho to work w/ somone else for a change. I got a chance to bounce off ideas to another person, share info & was duly impressed w/ her ability to come up w/ design ideas that honestly sounded good & looked good when executed! wow! & honestly i need that. I mean my ideas are good but i need to know when im off track & you cant do that alone. Anyway, it was amazing what we got done in that teeny tiny little kitchen! We started on Friday--baked all that day, baked the next day & finished off everything on Sunday & then delivered them to my office that day as well. The next day Monday was the day of reckoning for me when the entire office gathered around to taste "my wares". Thinkin back on my past experiences of bombing in front of a work audience i held my breath hoping for the best. Out of all the cakes, the one pictured above go the most attention & seemed to be the crowd favorite. I must admit everything looked really good. But dont it always? After a minute or two of people munching i started to hear "mmmmm!" "wow!" "ooooh david!" i took a slice or 2 & realized that the cakes really WERE damn good. I felt proud & releived that all our hard work in the kitchen that wknd--werent for naught! did i mention it was like 80 degrees as well that wknd? eeegads. baking on temps of 350 in a dinky kitchen in 80 degree weather is about the closest to hell i ever want to get. one woman at work came up to me two days later & confessed how she couldnt get the cake pictured above, out of her head. She absolutely loved it & instsed that i come up w/ a real name for this cake instead of "poppyseed cake w/ berries & buttercream". i think i will. It really is an awesome cake if i must say so myself. I got so many compliments that day i was floating on air when i walked out the office that day. Right after that I received another large order--2 cakes, a peach cobbler & 2 doz. cookies from the security guard at the office. So right after the wknd ended i was back in the kitchen baking like crazy in 80-90 degree heat. iy yi yi! Ive been very busy & havent had time to talk to my friends or return too many phone calls. i will do all that this wknd since i dont have any orders as yet.

on a totally seperate note: this neighborhood never ceases to amaze. wednesday night i was fast asleep when i heard voices in my sleep ( as i always do in this apt) coming from the back area. the last thing i heard was "watch out!" with that i slowly awoke to see my room shining w/ a bright orange light that seemed to be coming from outisde. at first i thought it was nothing but i heard a strange noise coming from the back. i looked at the clock--it was 1:32am. so i got up, looked out the window only to see a car englufed in flames 6 ft high! i stood there in a half-sleep daze & thought "this is a movie". ive had some of THE most bizarre things happen around me living in this apartment. this latest one was enought to leave me numb. i stared at the flame engulfed car & thought "no one will beleive this if i tell them. they just wont". on what planet do things like this happen on such a regular basis?! when i fully awoke i realized that maybe i should move my car since it was less than 10ft away from this inferno. just as i thought about putting on my shoes & running out there the car erupted in small explosions. scratch that. my car was close but far away enough so that perhaps it was safe. the flames got higher but they didnt get wider so i just stood & watched. someone called 911 & thats when pandemonium set in. some guy ran outside & began moving his car which was parked right in back of the burning car & panicked. backing his car out the way he almost rammed into the car in back of his & seemed to be stuck. smoke was all over the place. i finally just picked up my video camera & filmed. people are gonna see im not making this stuff up. finally the firefighters showed up & put it out. took them a while cuz the thing just burned & burned & then began burning all over again! it was pure insanity. when i realized the fire was out & my car was untouched i just fell back in the bed & slept like a baby. i honestly thought i dreamed the whole thing until i picked up my camera the next morning & watched the whole thing again. it really happened & this time i have proof.

i honestly beleive people thought i had lost my mind when i told them how i was sleep one nite & heard someone singing very loudly only to wake up & realize that it was a woman screaming bloody murder! it was the most disturbing thing id ever heard in my life. a woman had been wailing for like an hour! just wailing at the top of her lungs!! & in my sleep it sounded like loud singing. even as i tell this it sounds like the delusions of a lunatic or the daydrems of a psych ward escapee---but it really happened! i sat at the window once again wondering what in hell was going on when i heard a loud knock at a door & someone say "open up its the police!" i thought "dear God, someone thought enough to call the cops" after that it got quiet, so quiet---as if it never happened. I was awake for the next two hours trying to figure out what kind of nighmare was i living in. i finally just went to sleep as always. Sometimes I feel like I'm in an old Vincent Price horror movie living in this neighborhood. Its a very surreal experience. Im just glad I have my baking to take my mind off all this.

Media Darling

2007-08-07T13:08:00.000-07:00

Well i finally got things kicked off in a nice way. I finally got my menus done & my business cards. Not exactly THE menus or THE cards i wanted but i just needed to get SOMETHING out there so i went to psprint, designed something passable & sent them out to everyone. The beautiful cards & menus i was supposed to have were being designed by a friend in England who started them but didnt make the needed corrections, i literally have been waiting a year for that to get done with zero results in that department so I just went at it myself. I'm going to find a local printer who can do interesting things for me cuz I really need an upgrade in that dept. A few weeks before that happened a reporter for something called payscale.com sent me an email telling me that he had seen my blog & wanted to interview me about being a pastry chef. i was like wow! how cool is that? you mean someone is actually reading this thing? & a reporter yet? So we set up a time & interviewed over the phone and i talked pretty honestly about how i felt about the cooking world & the drama that goes with all that bull. I hate to sound like a hater but you have to be a glutton for punishment & someone who enjoys a large amount of stress to work in some of these fancy schmancy restaurants & hotels. "F" that noise.

Anyway i sorta trashed the industry in the nicest way i could w/o naming anyone or sounding like a disgrntled ex-employee. I feel like i owe it to those young people out there who, like me--had very pre-concieved overly romantic & totally unrealistic notions abot what it would be like to be a chef. I had ideas that sound so ridiculous now that it would be embarrassing to even acknowledge them at this point. But I doubt I'm alone cause when you think of cooking for a beautiful restaurant you only think of the good parts: the starch white professional uniform that says "Chef" to the world, fresh ingredients, the cooking of delicious refined foods, satisfied customers, great pay. You never think of the yelling & screaming so common in kitchens, the disrespect you recieve for being new, the low pay & long hours. & hey, some people obviously dig it because there are alot of chefs in alot of restaurants but for me personally--it just didnt work. So anyway--I discussed the ups & downs of a pastry chef and really the joy of baking that i get from doing my own thing. Because the cooking world really is awesome. You just have to find your own little part of it and hold on to that and learn as much as you can to make yourself better. & thats really the key, being open to learn to be better cause thats what I'm ALWAYS striving for and heaven knows i need improvement in so many areas. & the public is always looking for things that dazzle the eye and tastes good.

So anyway you can read the interview here: http://blogs.payscale.com/salarystories/2007/07/average-wage-fo.html. I was pleased with it. But i did think it was funny how it was all typed up because there were alot more questions asked. And instead of printing all the questions, they condensed my answeres under a few short questions so when you read it, some of my answers seem like i was just rambling off the top of my head. But i liked it and am very excited about the idea of being interviewed. I'd like to do it again. I certainly have lots to say!

Be at one with your cake.

2007-07-17T16:15:00.000-07:00

OK i been real lazy lately about writing in my blog. i think my latest bought of laziness had to do w/ my dispointing failure at fasting. I was so PO'd, i didn't evwen want to discuss it. so i subconicously avoided having to reflect. But if i must, i must. I only did it for 4 days and on the 4th i rationaled that if i didnt eat somehting i was gonna rip somebodys face off. Not eating puts you in a really really bad mood. And I didnt feel like i lost one damn ounce anyway so i just said to hell with it and ate again.

Moving right along....I did something really cool about 8 weeks ago: Taught my first baking class. It was awesome. I really was nervous about it because initially I am a shy person who isn't completely comfortable "holding court" and speaking in front of people. So I felt this need to "rehearse" to get an idea of how it would look and sound. So sometimes when i cooked around the house i'd speak what I was doing as I did it like they do on TV cooking shows.....which sounded too corny & contrived. I'm not into all that Food Network type junk. I like the natural approach so somehting told me to just wing it. Do and say what comes naturally. Which was an idea that also made me nervous. Like what if I didnt know the answer to a question or what if i tried too hard and looked stupid or what if i suddenly got nervous? But something else told me to just pretend I was in my own kitchen, have fun and be myself. It wasnt brain surgery i'm just teaching a few people how to bake a damn tart. I was teaching the class to a guy from work, his wife & 2 friends of theirs. On the day of the "class" the weather was beautiful, everything seemed to be going right and I felt it was going to be a good day. I drove to their house in the city, wore my chef jacket--which helped me to get into character and started my class. There was only 4 people and a couple of kids around and we just had fun. Someone opened a bottle of champagne and i was good to go. It was great, i wasn't nervous, i was confident, answered everyones questions thoroughly and baked some yummy desserts. We made Norweigian Cinnamon Rolls thanks to Nigella Lawson and just about the best Chocolate Tart i've ever eaten in my life. Nothing burned or cooked funny, everything came out perfect, I made a nice chunk a change and they were very pleased. I can't wait to do it again. SO as of now I am advertising myself as a Teacher!

I recently did a breakfast for my job. They have a breakfast club where someone brings in breakfast on Friday--I naturally do all mine from scratch. It was great to get back into bigtime cooking again on that level but I was disapointed in my effort. I relaize now that there are times when I cook, i really rush through it. Try to hurry & get it over with. I hate my kitchen so much that cooking is not the easy breezy joy it was when i lived in that big house w/ the big kitchen. I would turn on some music, pour me a glass of champagne and create something beautiful. Now I'm in majorly cramped quarters, its hot and things are just not quite as cozy as it used to be so i have a tendency to just rush. & thats just not good. I made a quiche that had way too much cream and was too creamy & cheezy & not eggy enough. Cinnamon Rolls that were hard and over cooked. Ugh...embarrassing. Everything looked much better than it tasted. I had to stop & wonder what the heck was going on and why was my cooking so sub-par? I made cookies the very next day that looked ugly to me and were dry as damn bone.

Baking---friends, is all about timing. And the timing must be rather slow if you want product that is superior. At least for me. I can't be rushed. i can't be tired. i can't be doing 2 things at once. i cant be on the phone. or watching tv. i have to be completely zen. at one with whatever i'm baking and completely committed to it. I have to have the temperates turned down slightly lower than normal. watching the timing of everything carefully. measuring everything precisely. And when I cook like that, awesome things happen. Masterpieces are created. Ideas become reality. The world becomes a lovely place. So thats how I am approaching things now. Taking it back a few paces and taking the same precautions and care I took when i first started . Its all a learning process. Triall and error and all that jazz.

Fasting Slowly

2007-04-05T19:50:00.000-07:00

Its my 2nd day of fasting and its kinda strange the ups and down you gro through. many highs and lows. some moments i feel good. some moments i am really irritated. all ive done is drink cranberry juice, chicken broth & water. i hear after the first two days you are home free and you are not hungry anymore and honestly i have periods where i am not hungry at all & i am just coasting, but unfortunately i work at a job where they REALLY like to eat so i'm constantly biting my lip trying not to eat some leftover goodies. today i had my usual thursday presentation w/ catered lunch & that was just murder but i actually got thru it w/o eating one thing. it was tough tho. real tough. i really didnt think i was gonna make it. deli sandwiches w/ mayo & prime cut meats on ciabatta bread, big thick cookies, a delicious fruit salad & 7-up. oh man....THATS when i suddenly started to feel that this whole fasting thing wasn't worth it & that i needed some nurishment. But i didnt give in. I just looked down at my gut & that was all the incentive needed. i think i need something tho. imma give it one more day to see if i really dont feel hungry then ill just eat a salad a day or something. at least i know i can go this long w/o food--something i never thought i could do. i kinda feel tired tho like i just dont feel like doing anything. they say after a few days you have all this energy. i hope that happens cause im tired of not eating anything & tired of being tired. like right now, i dont even feel like writing. maybe tomm....

FOOD IS THE ENEMY

2007-04-03T18:45:00.000-07:00

i'm doing a fast right now. which means i don't eat anything, just drinking juices, broths & maybe a vegetable or two....i've been on it all of 8hrs & already all i can think of is eating a piece of fried chicken. i went online and saw that fasting is really good for you and that after the 2nd day, you're body is not craving food as much. i'm gonna try to do this all the way up until the wknd and see what happens. it supposed to clean your body out and clear your skin and you drop some pounds and all types of good things are supposed to happen and honestly i need it. i just feel bloated & unhealthy all the time. going to the gym barely helps cause i see very little change in my body from working out. ive cut out sugar, dairy & heaven knows what else and still nothing. i think i just need to flat out stop eating for a while. stop putting food first and well, suffer a little bit. i have to get my body back to being the hot sexy bod it was before i went to culinary school. summers coming up and i want to hit the beach like everyone else. no pain, no gain, right? & if i'm nothing its determined. when i really put my mind to somehting, its as good as done--not counting all the dieting ive done over the last 2yrs. anyway i'll be writing alot these next few days charting my progress.

all those stern letters & photos i sent to the owner of this building regarding the condition of the apartment finally saw some results. i came home from work last week & this whole complex was cleaned up. the entire back area, the parking area, all that sludge, those dirty diapers--all gone. i was ready to call the city if somehting wasnt done. i'm still mulling over if i should write her a thank you letter or not say anything at all. frankly i dont think i should be thanking someone for doing something they shoulda been doing on their own in the first place. not only that but my psycho next door neighbors moved too and i think the crazy chick who lives across from is also gone. cleaning house! i saw a maintenece person fixing things in the apt next door & peeked in & it was empty. the girl across from me was always quiet until the wknd & then her & her girlfriends would blast rap music all night long. ugh. the couple next door were nuts doo--one time the girl locked the guy out at 3am & wouldnt open the door for him so i had to hear "come on anna, please open up, im sorry" till 5am. anyway theyre gone--Thank You Jesus.

its all about cleaning house.--out with the old and in with the new. i am all about starting over fresh. leaving the past behind me and looking heavenward to what God has in store for me, which is always something awesome! I guess thats why I usually dont cry over the past or waste too much time looking backwards. That's what did Lot's wife in and I don't plan on turning to stone! I had a great weekend---i've made some new friends and hung out with a couple of them over the wknd. Went to see that Chris Rock movie "I Think I Love My Wife" with one of my friends on Friday night and that was fun. The movie was pretty funny. I think you have to be married to REALLY get the jist of all the jokes but i think anyone who's been in a relationship can kinda relate. I hope its a hit cause Chris Rocks movies always flop and i think this one is good enough to recommend.

my stomache is gurgling right now but I WONT GIVE IN! i need to get my mind off of eating. i think i'm going to go do my laundry. bye.

It's My World, You Just Live In It!

2007-03-27T10:51:00.000-07:00

For the last two nights in a row, especially Monday night--a gang of losers have been right outside my window at like 3am hanging out, conducting business talking LOUD AS HELL and acting as if it wasn't 3am, as if people couldnt possibly be sleep & as if its perfectly normal to just be walking around and doing who-knows-what at that time of the morning. I came sooo close to just opening my window & screaming "People are TRYING to Sleep!!!!!!" luckily my window was stuck and i couldnt open it so i just stood there with the blinds opened fully glaring at the people. These people coulda had guns, coulda been dangerous criminals, i did not care--all i know is i was awaken and i was livid! I couldn't beleive how loud this one guy was talking. I mean his voice woulda been rude even in the daytime but at 3am!!? I heard some girl say "i think people are trying to sleep" & the loudmouth go "i dont give a f***". He was right, he didn't. Last night it looked like 2 of them came back and loudmouth was at it agian but only for a minute this time. i still jumped up & looked out my window. I want to drop a bucket of hot water on this guys head sooo bad! Anyway i managed to get more sleep last night than the night before. at least this time i wasn't late for work.

Oh another reminder that I'm living in the 'h0od--i saw a fistfight btwn two girls Saturday night that was just HI-larious! I guess two girls were staying with each other and one girl wanted the other girl out--pronto! She was yelling & screaming & telling this chick "You betta get the hell out my house NOW!!!" and taking her stuff & throwing it outside. Well the girl in question wasn't budging. A coupla B-words were thrown around and bam!--the next thing you know, hair was being pulled, folks were screaming, people getting knocked down. Mind you, the windows were wide open, curtains wide open, door WIDE OPEN! you could see & hear EVERYTHING. A third girl was trying to break it up but these 2 were not having it. The screaming, fighting went on for another 15 mins until the one chick finally got her stuff & left but she kept trying to come back for more to get the girl who threw her out. Oh it was a mess. I dont think i've heard the B-word thrown around that much since the last time i watched "The Maury Show". Oh how i wished i had a videocam on my phone. I need to get one. Moments like that are what Youtube.com are all about!

Hmmmm....now how do i tie all this into baking? LOL. i honestly can't. I will say this though, i will be baking things this wknd--testing & trying things out because that's where my priorities are and I cannot let the complexities of life get in the way of that.

Buttercream, Drag Queens and Pure Trash

2007-03-20T10:42:00.000-07:00

i really have no direction as to what i am going to write about right now but i do know i need to get cracking on writing something. i mean i have a blog thats basically just collecting dust. i think the reason i have not written in so long is because many things in my life are going pretty good. i mean i of course, have the usual trials of creditors on my back, being overdrawn on my bank account & the fact that i hate my apt. but other than that, i'm happy. i love my job. i love what i do. im appreciated. i have some money in my pocket. and i am baking things despite the fact that i havent had business cards or menus in over 6 months.

Most of my orders have been thru my job--cookies, small cakes, breakfast cakes, etc. But recently I made a large 1/2 sheet cake that altho i know tasted good, was a mistake to undertake. Mainly becuz the woman (an ex-employee from a previous job) i did it for is someone whom i had a feeling might ask for alot & could possibly be difficult. she did and i tried to do alot & ended up with a cake that i thought looked nice, but i dont think was what she wanted. she wanted an italian flag, lemon curd fillings, stuff written in italian and then she wanted me to deliver it all the way over to San Francisco at 9:30pm. i did what i could in the decorating dept., delivered the cake on time & high-tailed it outta there. Never heard back from her. Oh well. what did that experience teach me? That if i'm not completely sure i can do something, just say no. Other opportunitys will come along. I didnt have to do that cake but I did because i couldnt really think of an excuse quick enough to back out of it. Oh, she also wanted me to dress up like Marilyn Monroe and deliver the cake. I kid thee not. I said no to that one. I'm a pastry chef not a drag queen.

I havent done as much baking as you would think these days tho. I used to love to just use my wknds for baking experiments. stay in the kitchen all weekend coming up with new things to put on my menu. Now i'm just blah about it. Not because I've lost my enthusiasm for baking but simply because i dont like my kitchen. I dont like my whole apt but thats another story entirely. But my kitchen is too small and dosent have enough work space and before i can even get all my ingredients out, the place is a utter mess and i havent even begun baking. I need to buy a kitchen cart w/ a cutting board on it. I need space. I need to be completely relaxed & at ease when i bake. a glass of champagne & my music going isn't out of the question either. So i've done very little experimenting these days. I have plans tho to do more and I will. I just have to get my head in the right space and my apartment more feng shui. its very out of balance and just disgusting.

Ive been taking photos of the back area of my apt building and sending them to my landlord because its just beyond filthy. people dump garbage anywhere they please. dirty filthy baby diapers all over the place. heaps & heaps of trash just laid out in the area where we park. No one cleans up. its a disgrace & illegal so i took photos, sent them to my landlord & wrote her some pretty stern letters. My next stop is filing a formal complaint with the city. Calling some lawyers and getting an inspectors involved. I went to Sentinal Fair Housing website and found out that California Civil Code Sections 1941 and 1942 says that it is the owners responsibility to see that buildings and grounds shall be free of rubbish, garbage, rodents, and other pests. It also falls under another code for illegal dumping which is done w/ complete abandon at that bldg. Oh all kinds of laws are being broken at that building as we speak. So she can take her sweet time. I'm giving her a few more weeks and then I'm making my calls. I made the huge mistake of signing a yr lease which i hope can be broken somehow. I do not want to live there anymore. & the landlord takes her good sweet time about getting things done and sometimes answers your emails and sometimes dosent. I look at this apt. as a place where i sleep and thats it. But sleep or no sleep i have a right to live in a clean environment. I've never sued anyone before but the idea of doing it seems really exciting. Like an episode of Perry Mason or Judge Judy where the bad guy or gal gets a major tongue lashing & is sent packing while the good guy walks away the winner with the cash!

One last thing about that trashy apartment--my window is right behind this nasty section 8 apt bldg. where theres constant noise, yelling, loud azz talking, people blaring rap music from their cars at unheard of decibils at ungodly hours of the night. Next door is a crack apt. bldg. its just disrespectful and more reasons why i'm gettin outta Oakland. Bye Bye Oaktown--i defended you to the end when people put you down as being dangerous & ghetto now I'm gonna talk about you like a dog when i leave!

Back From The Dead

2006-09-28T12:22:00.000-07:00

i promised myself that i would not use this blog as an opportunity to bitch, complain, rip on anyone or generally be mean but righting the wrongs and exposing evil is such an intregal part of my personality, that i really find it hard not to do. i am restraining myself not to go there. so all i will say about my abscene is that i have spent the last few months ridding myself of that wretched job i was previously at and i finally did it. the place was bad vibes central. everyone there was cool except the owner & the admin staff. the owner was attention depreived and seemed to need everyone to focus on her all the time. i didnt. the admin staff was clique, petty and boring--if you werent part of their dinner party clique (which by the way i was most certainly not) , you were a target. the HR person being the worst of them all. an old crank so bitter and nasty that she made judge judy and sophia petrillo look like becons of modest civility. not only that but i currently work w/ an ex-employee of theirs now and she confirmed everything i am saying now, so i know i am not crazy in saying this. overall, the work was mindless, pointless and dull. i had no passion, zeal or interest for what i was there to do. i did nothing and i didnt care if they knew it. it was truly a war and i was ready fight. if they wanted to fire me, fabulous. i wouldve welcomed unemployment. on a positive note: everyone else there was cool and i mean that. ok, now that i got that out of my system. on to more important news.

so where am i now? i am at a large company--very cool, very fun, very employee-friendly and pays WELL. a great vibe , a great position, respect, some power. everything my last job was not nor could ever be. i am the head of my own department and i love it. i have also made some very good baking connections here as well. great opportunitys, great people. i wake up ready to go to work. and work i do.

on the baking front. i made a chocolate cake w/ a vanilla buttercream frosting in the middle and chocolate on the outside for a woman here celebrating her 1st wedding anniversary. heres her quote: "The cake was amazing! Thank you very very much!" She has some other things lined up for me to do in the next few weeks, baking wise, that i am excited about as well. she told me her husband said "can we get all our cakes from this guy?" haha. thats priceless. the company is also thinking of opening an account with Sugarsweet. I will supply them with all cookies, cakes, etc for their meetings and special occassions. we havent talked formally about it but it was mentioned by a higher up. we'll see. I'm also raising my prices too. LOL.

On other news--my parents are getting a divorce after 27yrs together and 22yrs being married. its not a good thing at all and i'm sorry that my mom is going thru this but at the same time i am happy as a lark that we will be rid of that rotten pile of sewage known as my step-father. its been a very difficult process but i am determined to help my mother in any way i can. i have been up & down that freeway so much to her house that i ran my tires down to nothing and had to buy new ones. i also got a speeding ticket zooming up there. my court date is in november. i could go on and on about all the nastiness thats going on with my parents marriage and the empending divorce but thats highly personal and has nothing to do with baking....but just another part of the many ups & downs of a pastry chef on the rise.

simplicité est la clef

2006-06-13T09:17:00.000-07:00

im really trying to make my writing in my blog a daily if not every other day habit and not a monday morning let me rehash my wknd type of thing. so much happens during my week that sometimes getting around to writing about it can be a challenge. my wknd was full too. i finally made the cake for sonjhai's graduation. a big chocolate 1/2 sheet cake that was really beautiful, if i must say so. i was surprised cause i had no idea what i was going to do with it design-wise. i kept it simple and it came out beautifully. it was my first cake of that size so i was slightly nervous. everyone was impressed and i took photos. the cake itself once sliced and eaten wasnt as impressive in my opinion. it was way too sweet & had too much icing. the cake was lost amongst the sugary sweet icing. & the cake was too soft & barely held up under the avalanche of icing. most everyone liked it but im a hard critic and most hard on myself. i wasnt embarrassed because it was good but it wasnt what i had in mind at all. i dont like sugary sweet icings & the cake just didnt hold up well. i didnt like it. i know what i have to do next time tho---lighter on the sugar, find a stiffer cake recipe and dont put quite so much icing on. the graduation party was really fun. 30-40 people were supposed to show up but only about 12 made it including me & charles. we had a good time with the 12. lots of laughter, food, convo and champagne.

the day before, i had made a very simple icing--butter, powdered sugar & vanilla. it was soooo good i had to find a good cake recipe to match it. i came up with a white buttery poppyseed cake along with that icing and some leftover raspberries and blackberries thrown in the middle. OMG that cake was deeeelicious. i think it may even be a new favorite. oh man did i love that one. my roomates had a fit when i told them i was going to bring it work. they dug right in and claimed it as their own. haha. i didnt blame them, it was so delicious. im so tired of chocolate right now that im thinking of taking it off my menu temporarily and redoing the chocolate cake idea so its more similar to the white one in structure and icing. i am really begining to see that simple is just better. butter. powdered sugar. vanilla. period. all this stuff with the cooked egg yolks and melted this & that & whipping & freezing and crap is for the birds. keep it simple & you get the best results.

I finally got back the brand new fancy dancy cards & menus that my friend Dan in London did for me and WOW!! was i impressed! they were sooo nice and so professional and so cool & colorful. man. they made me realize that i need to step my game up. the cards are so professional that i realize that there will be no room for ameteur mistakes and absent-minded blunders on my part. im gonna really need to thik things thru, test and spend alot of time in the kitchen. taking my time and not rushing thru things. people are gonna see these cards & menus and expect greatness. anything less than that would be false advertising. and i dont want to be someone who has great advertsing and so-so product. im pretty proud of most of my things but if youve been reading this blog you know i have a tendency to flop once in a while. but my flops are not often and i usually know what i did wrong and how to fix it so im not lost. at any rate they also made me realize that maybe its time for me to get really pro and get a liscence. these cards/menus look like someone who has his own shop. hmmmmm....so many many things to think about, consider and do. calgon take me away!

i watched that wretched "Hells Kitchen" last night with that a-hole on stilts, gordon ramsey. it didnt make me laugh like it was intended to. just made me damn glad that i dont work in nobodys frickin kitchen anymore. i just dont get that whole scene. lets make everyone in here nervous as hell so they'll screw everything up and then yell at them again and continue to yell at them on a daily basis. lets just tear down peoples self esteem & self worth for no reason. i mean cooking is an art. what artist can work while someone is screaming & hurling insults at them? & what art form is that type of behaviour permitted but in the cooking world? for those of you who watch that show and wonder is it really like that working in kitchens, the answer is yes. its exaggerated on the show but not by much. i really beleive the word Asshole was invented for Executive Chefs in ch-chi-frou-frou restaurants. chefs like gordon ramsey are not the exception but typical of what you find in most 4 star restaurants. ive never been in any environment where the instinct to committ hardcore, bloody bare-hands murder engulfed my thoughts on such a regular basis. & then your supposed to sit there doing all this "yes chef!!" "no chef!" "i screwed up chef!!" "its all my fault chef!!" BS like some retard. they had serious problems with me at the hotel because i wouldnt take the fall for someone elses mistakes and i talked back to my chef and didnt yes ma'am anybody. all that military crap. puhlease. & i had zero respect for my cornball underling peers who followed all the rules, bought into all that crap and didnt rebel. they were usually the snitchy type and blatant ass-kissers. ugh...just wretched. my lifeline at that kitchen was a cute little girl named Audi who i just bonded with & adored. we would do anything to work together. we hated the same people & would just laugh ourselves silly at the absurdity we found ourselves in. they hated me & her together. i still talk to her. ok, back to work!

The Politics of Baking

2006-06-01T10:21:00.000-07:00

we had a long weekend, Memorial Day Holiday. i had to ask someone what it meant. i knew it had something to do with wars but dont we already have a war holiday, Veterans Day? anyway I know now its about remembering those who have died in wars, but why is this a day people choose to barbeque? who knows, right? anyway barbeque we did and it was pretty good. But first i guess i'll start at the top. the top being the party we threw for Nancy Nadel. Nancy Nadel is a candidate running for mayor of Oakland. I'd never really heard of her until Ken brought her up. We have signs and whatnot all around our house. Anyway the political party was nice but there was hardly anyone there. All of 18 people showed up with 400 invites sent out. go figure. People for some reason stayed away in droves. Whatever---i was there for Sugarsweet for the most part. But Nancy was very nice. We were chatting and I was asking about whats it like to campaign and how exhausted she must be and she said she most definately was and that she couldnt beleive that voting time was next week and most people had no clue as to who they were voting for. I said "yea thats crazy, isnt it?" But thinking "we vote next week!!? i didnt know that!!" i really didnt. The sad part is that besides Ron Dellums & Nancy, i dont even know who else is running, let alone who im really voting for! i didnt dare tell her that. I liked her and she seemed to have good ideas but I just dont know how tough on crime she will be and we need someone whos gonna kick these little kids square in the ass or rehibilitate them or something because the crime in Oakland is beyond ridiculous and its mostly committed by these little kids! I heard her say something like she'll put more cops on the beat and i thought "yea OK". I mean what does more cops on the beat do? The problem is these kids need something constructive to do besides picking up guns and pointing them at people. Anyway i hate politics so I am getting off the soap box right now. So back to the party, we had loads of delicious food--crostini, cream cheese & smoked salmon, harrisa smoked barbeque mini ribs, crab stuffed deviled eggs, chicken/apple salad tea sandwiches and my glorious strawberry tarts that were as delicious as they were beautiful. I am very proud of them. They are the one item that i make that even i have a hard time resisting. They are sooooo good! Lordy, Lordy! The first thing i thought about when i woke up the next morning was strawberry tart & smoked salmon. It was a strange breakfast but delicious nonetheless. After church I drove to my moms, but on the way there i picked up my Aunt Charlotte & her son Reggie. We went to Fairfield and I got to play with/terrorize baby Yasmin. I love that kid. I swung her around, played horsie, sung to her, chewed on her fat feet, dressed her up in a wig and sunglasses--it was great. . So now its Tuesday and I'm at work, thinking of my next steps for pastry greatness....

Three is the magic number

2006-05-22T12:55:00.000-07:00

there was only three incidental things that happened this weekend. the cupcakes. my car. and eating. lets start with the cupcakes. that whole thing went very well i thought, tho i havent heard anything from the people i gave them to as yet. but the icings and cake were delicious. the designs & garnish i made were tasteful and beautiful and the whole thing went off without a hitch. i was nervous about driving them to the party on the freeway because i thought theyd slide all over the place in my car but they didnt. i dropped them off, shook some hands & got my check. overall i was releived and happy. the success of that is making me more confident about my next big project: my friend sonjaye wants me to make a chocolate sheet cake with a rum mousse, enough for 50 people for her graduation party. im nervous about it cause ive never done a sheet cake & i dont have refrigerate space for it. & she has a party planner that i have to deal with---& honestly i dont like party/wedding planner girls. theyre too snotty for me. anyway i think i can pull the graduation cake thing off. its one of those jobs ive put way in the back of my mind, wondering if i should just call it off---but i dont think i will. i think i can do it. i need to tests mousse's cause i dont have a decent recipe & i need to get on with it cause she keeps asking me about it & im like, yea, yea, its all under control. we're also having a party at our spacious home this wknd for politician Nancy Nadel who is running for mayor of Oakland. Me and Charles are doing the menu & food. I have very sharp instincts when it comes to serving the right kinds of things to the public.& i think i have a good idea of what people like & whats appropriate for a particular occassion....i came up with mollasses & bourbon soaked miniture riblets, herb & crab delived eggs, crostini w/ smoked salmon, cream cheese & dill, a nice lite salad and mini strawberry tarts w/ vanilla pastry cream. Dosen't that sound delicious and something you'd want to try at a party? I know i'd be impressed if i went somewhere & this was served and was done right. i beleive in giving people a variety of textures, things that are loaded with flavor and colors but keeping it all very simple. prepping correctly, managing ones time and testing things beforehand is something i have learned is very handy. its hard to teach people that if they dont think its necessary or havent had enough experience to know how things fail. i had to learn that these things were not only necessary, but vital. i beleive that you do not experiment with the public! if youre around me when im cooking, you'll hear me say that alot.
my car was a source of concern for me. i went to the DMV to see why i havent got a notice about getting new tags in the mail only to find out that the car isnt even completely mine. the title still has not been signed over to me. its still in the previous owners name. so i have to track them down & get it from them. at any rate, i could be arrested and my car can be impounded if im ever stopped for anything, so i am very paranoid about driving now. i found the owners home address and wrote them a letter urging them to call me so we can get this matter squared away. meanwhile i will be driving my car (if at all) with extreme caution until i hear from these people.

ok so the eating food thing was that i basically went on a major junk food binge. just shoveling everything i had lying around the house down my throat & i honestly think i gained about 2lbs in the process. i dont want to dwell on it because i beleive you can fall down & get back up. but i hate that i did it cause now i have to start all over. ugh. ok, well time to get back on track and lose the flab.

Wanna Slice?

2006-05-19T14:02:00.000-07:00

that cake i made yesterday for the office was a total bomb. talk about embarrassing. thats what i get for experimenting! i did not use enough sugar in the icing so it was bitter, the cake was bitter too....and dry. the mousse looked like it had evaporated and it was tasteless. oh man it was just awful. but i understood why it was awful---i still dont have a fool proof chocolate icing that i really love. the one that i usually use is really tasty but its runny & not pliable. the pliable stuff tends to be too bitter even with alot of sugar in it & it has the wrong color. i wasnt the fudgy look, color & taste that im searching for. anyway i slunked away from everyone---even i couldnt pretend. someone said "the cakes really good dave" i said "thanks" & thought "liar". ....but then again, who knows maybe he likes bitter chocolate. anyway no one else bothered to say much to me....which is always "the sign". lol. its kinda funny really, i always like to see peoples reaction to yucky food. smiling tho they want to gag. anyway---no matter how high you may be flying or how many successes & home runs you hit, when you bomb, its a reminder that you are only human. oh well, i still have my cupcake job that i think will go real nice. at least i tested all that stuff----even decorated one & it looked very professional and pretty. tasted good too. but im tired right now. i may just sleep tonite & deal with the whole cupcake thing tomm. i may watch an old black & white movie tonite too---i need to see something with strength, humor, drama and horror---joan crawford! ill watch "straight-jacket!" again.

Life is Just One Big Bunch of Cupcakes

2006-05-18T12:19:00.000-07:00

i have a lot of projects going on and things to think about. fluffy stuff---buttercreams. chcoolate. pretty garnishes. color. cupcake displays. things i can handle. i'm tired of all this deep real life stuff....death, car accidents, jobs, drama. i want to just get lost in the complexities of cookies and cakes! at night when i go to sleep---ideas come to me in dreams and i find myself so excited about getting started that i can hardly wait until morning time. i had a dream about assembling this cake i was to make for my job today. i dreamt that it was a chocolate cake w/ a chocolate border inside encased with a mocha caramel liquor mousse inside the border, w/ the liquor also soaked in the cake, then covered in chocolate iciing w/ a chocolate shaving outside border and a mint leaf & raspberry as garnish on top. as soon as the sun came up i was down at the kitchen putting my dream to reality. & man if it didnt come out nicer than i expected. i wish i could put the pic up cause it looks really good. cant wait till everyone tries a piece. i also still have that 100 cupcake job for the woman from the SF Arts Commission this saturday. i dreamt about that too. i dreamt about dark & white chocolate cupcakes. 50 dark. 50 white. the dark w/ powdered sugar sprinkled and a white chocolate covered espresso bean on top. the white chocolate one will have cocoa sprinkled on them w/ a dark chcolate espresso bean on top. i tested cupcakes last nite & was up till 11pm making icings. the white chocolate icing is sooooooo good. & that was due to me testing and changing things & experimenting w/ stuff i hadnt done yet like pouring white chocolate ganache into some mixed butter, vanilla & powdered sugar---which was a really good idea. wow! the dark chocolate icing is good too but i still dont have whats in my head concerning that. for one its not dark enough to me. im looking for a really good DARK, rich semi-sweet very chocolatey creamy but pliable icing and i havent gotten that yet. so back to the drawing board on that one. in the meantime i will just have to settle with what ive come up with so far.

I've decided to stick with my job. I went on interviews last week to companies and spoke with people who honestly didnt impress me very much. i know the traditional attitude is to go on an interview hoping they'll pick you but i look at it from the point of view of me picking them most of the time. besides i realized that i need to stick things out more often & stop running. my pattern is to jump ship & say "so long" the minute anything displeases me, but i am realizing that this is a good place and that i am lucky to have the kind of job where people are so supportive and dont ask much of me except to just come to work. my last job at that hotel ( i refuse to say the name of that place) really freaked me out. it was/is hard for me to fathom that people can be so unneccessarily heartless. the experience nearly changed my whole attitude towards people in general, which up until then had been pretty good. i was really falling into an "oh f-you" vibe with just about everyone i came in contact with at work--even at my new job. my attitude towards the restaurant world hasn't changed at all tho---restaurant kitchens are just crowded with some of the sleaziest loathesome people you would EVER want to come face to face with. i cant say enough bad things about it really. i can honestly say that i met people in the that world that i pray i never ever have to ever look at again for the rest of my life. i mean, even getting revenge on them wouldnt be fun because that would mean i had to look at them & i just would rather not. but the nice thing about all of this is that it was just an experience---like the many many experiences ive had in my life that i can look back on & say i survived....and came out smelling like a rose. which i usually do. God has His hand on my shoulder, i know this. i forget it sometimes but i know it. because for every pit of hell ive had to go through, there always seems to be a present waiting for me when i come crawling out of that dark scary cave. just sitting there. my company Sugarsweet is that present & im realizing that so is my job. i get excited when i think about my business and all the things i want to do with it. i almost have to slow down my thoughts & catch up to myself when i think of the directions & cool things i want to do. so thats all----ive got baking to do!

Bye Bye Boyfriend

2006-05-15T09:38:00.000-07:00

extreme highs and extreme lows are the only way that i can describe this weekend. friday was a blast....of sorts. i won a nights stay at the clift hotel www.clifthotel.com which surpassed even my creative imagination in terms of glamour, splendor and modern elegence. i goofed this one up when i didnt take my mom om mothers day wknd.---which would have been not only the best mothers day present ive ever gotten my mom but would have been the perfect way for me & my mom to get away & have some time together under the most elegent of settings. i really didnt think it would be as glamorous & stupendous as it was. i was floored by how awsome this place was. i shoulda asked my mom to come but i honestly forgot. ive been having alot of senior moments lately & this was certainly one of them--im not even going to lie. forgetfulness, not thinking clearly, not sure, not asking the right questions...its all there. i will carefully move away from this subject and try to remember the night at the clift as one of fun & positivety. but if things at the clift were questionable, reality kicked me in the pants when i came home from my glamorous stay there and i walked into tthe courtyard and saw our beautiful dalmation dog "boyfriend" laying in the grass on deaths door looking sicker than ive ever seen him. coles mother mary told us he was dying of liver failure & there was nothing anyone could do to save him, but i didnt beleive it. i never do when i hear anyones dying. it just seems incoceivable to me. when i walked thru the courtyard & didnt see him i panicked---when i came around the grassy area that he never goes to & saw him slumped on the grass, looking up at me, eyes half opened & filled with mucus, his body shaking his head straining---i dropped my bags & burst into tears. he really was dying. i hate to use this as a time for jokes but it really was like a scene from "old yeller" or "the yearling" when i did that. you know the setting--the cute animal is about to kick the bucket & the adorable blonde kid starts bawling & telling the mut how much he loves him & begging him not to die. i knelt down & just hugged him, patted him, kissed him and cried big tears. i loved that dog. he was so funny. he really knew how to talk to u with his eyes. he was so cute. very sensitive and laid back. his condition just got worse & worse until he died on mothers day. but before that and after i saw him--i didnt want to--but i had to leave him & run errands. while i was out i was almost in a very scary car accident. i was driving back home avoiding the traffic on the freeway. some idiot decides to make a right turn from the left lane! and just starts turning right into my car! i swerved out of his way and honked like mad. i couldnt beleive it. btwn that and the dog dying, i was a nervous wreck. i came home decided to take a much needed "nap" at 5pm and didnt wake up until 6am the next day. i slept for 13hrs. i was mentally & emotionally drained. in the midst of all this, something nice happened---a woman from the SF Arts Commission called me & ordered 100 chocolate cupcakes for a party next saturday. wow! That was exciting! Nothing like a baking job to get me back on track again. So i am in the process of putting that together now and coming up with some interesting things to do with that. Mothers Day was nice. after sleeping for 13hrs i got up got dressed & drove to my moms and delivered her a beautiful lavender Mothers Day Basket, a bottle of good champagne and a Red Velvet Cake I managed to make during all this insantiy that was this wknd. i dont know if it was the upsy downy-ness of this weekend or what but on my way home from my moms place i stopped off at Burger King, said to hell with the diet and munched down a burger & fries. mmmm....it was good! thats all. boyfriend, i will miss you---bye baby.

Baby Love

2006-05-04T15:49:00.000-07:00

I just got back from delivering a dozen cookies to the director of the SF Arts Commission. I hope she likes them. im going to my moms house this wknd and see the family, which should be fun. my cousin aqueelah is dropping off her adorable little baby Yasmin at my moms place so she can go to ATL and look for a home. Which means I'll probably be at my moms place every weekend from here on out to play with the baby. i love babys more than i love my cookies. im such a sucker for a baby--i just spoil them to death. whatever they want, i'll gladly give it to them. i always say i wouldnt want spoiled bratty kids but my kids will probably be just that. they cry, i want to do whatever to make them feel better. i want to play & make them laugh. i want to protect. how can you not love a baby? seriously. when i see people just leaving a baby lying there while its crying, thats akin to abuse if you ask me. anyway Yasmin is simply adorable and I cant weait to see her again this weekend. I also have cookie & cake orders for work that i must do tonite as well so ill be busy before bedtime. a guy from work brought in these delicious chocolate cookies he made with his children....man they were good! i asked for the recipe and after i tweek it a bit they will be on my menu. OK im out!

Losing Weight

2006-04-27T13:57:00.000-07:00

Lordy the things I do to lose weight. Charles ( friend, roommate & fellow disgruntled chef) has me on a - I hate to use this word - diet. I'm eating brown rice, sardines & other fish, beans, vegetables, apples and nuts. I drink v-8's and hot water & lemon in the morning. In one week I've lost 7lbs. Charles is great tho--he's like my chef, personal trainer and drill sergeant. He is in charge of everything I eat. I literally have to ask him before I put anything in my mouth. its strange but it works. I need someone to tell me no. & Charles LOVES to tell people no. We were at Food Maxx shopping one day & he caught me standing in front of a Krispy Kreme doughnut display staring at the doughnuts with a lustful glaze in my eye. All the sudden I felt this hand snatching me away "get away from there!" He takes his job seriously. At any rate, i'm sick & tired of being fat. I went to the doctor and they told me I needed to lose weight--I've never had a doctor EVER tell me that--my blood pressure was up and I was overweight by about 35lbs. When I got on that scale and the nurse spitted out loud how much I weighed - & no I am not telling-I was honestly in shock. I have never weighed that much in my life. it was like someone dumped a bucket of ice cold water on me & I finally woke up. the days of thinking "yea I've gained a few but I still look good" had to end. Its time to get to work and get back to being the hot THIN guy I've always been. I feel like the freekin pillsbury dough boy now. its a disgrace. Im always so damn hungry. Is this what happens when you get old---you get hungry? I am grateful for one thing tho---I lose weight fairly fast--as quick as I gain, I also lose it equally as fast. if I keep up with no sugar, no flour, no fat & no snacks & working out everyday , I could drop 20-30 within 6 weeks. Once I became a chef, the world of food just opened itself up to me and I've been on a feeding frenzy ever since. And because the things I bake tend to be so good, I do find myself munching on my own profit sometimes. But I dont have a real sweet tooth in the sense that I cant just gorge on sweets everyday, all day. i'd get sick. I have to really be in the mood for something in particular & even then it has to be after not having anything sweet for an extended period of time. I'm having my friend in London who is doing my marketing stuff for me add my pies, tarts and cobblers on the summer menu, I'm excited about that, as I love berries and working with fruits....the kind you eat, that is. the kind you eat that grow on trees, that is. I've added my beautiful strawberry tart, a funky berry tart that is also stunning, my "drunken" apple pie & peach cobblers on there as well. I love my pies and tarts---they look so beautiful and taste so good. I love my cakes but I need help with decorating. theyre so good that the things I do to them, decorating wise equals to nothing short of an insult. give me some ideas, huh?

work and career

2006-04-26T10:18:00.000-07:00

its too early to really tell what kind of day its going to be so ill tell you about yesterday instead. well it was interesting. i got my review from work yesterday...and well lets just say there are some things i need to work on. i already had a strong feeling that it was going to be "one of those" type of reviews before the day even started. im a passionate person. i dont normally half-step but i have been half-stepping lately. i feel bad because its not like anyone has done anything wrong, everything is cool....anyway my mind is on baking. and i love to bake--im constantly challeneged and excited by the many things that can be done. its never just work. I can explore flavors, color and design and use this exploration to excite others. baking is powerful--everyone loves sweet things and you can turn an enemy into a friend just by handing them a really delicious cookie. ive recently made some smart changes and came up with some ideas about sugarsweet. for one, instead of spending all this postage money sending cookies to people all over the world, im handing cookies to everyone i come in contact with nearby. the postman, the UPS guy at work, the crosswalk dude on Grand Ave., fellow carpoolers, people at church, wherever, whoever. & instead of giving people a variety of cookies, im only giving away chocolate chips----i mean, who dosent like chocolate chip? & im only giving away three cookies total instead of a dozen, like i had been doing. three is more than enough. Im also going to be looking into sugar substitutes and sweeteners---ive been getting alot of requests for stuff like that and i'd like to play around with some ideas in that area & give people on diets & those with diabetes something good to eat. ok ill stop now, im tired of writing and want to get back to living again....bye